Official confirmation of American Idol judges panel restores peace, apathy to showbiz world

Ending several weeks of rumors, internal conflicts, and attacks on TV show ambassadors, Fox has issued a call for peace by settling on a new judges' panel for American Idol, in the hopes that the projected image of stability (even if it's just an illusion) will quell the widespread unrest in the entertainment world. As expected, the final three famous people and Randy Jackson who will sit in judgment of other, non-famous people and tell them why they probably can't even be as famous as Randy Jackson will be Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, Keith Urban, and Randy Jackson, thus ending the power vacuum that has once again led to so much celebrity in-fighting. The four posed for the above promotional photo, along with lead Idol diplomat Ryan Seacrest, in an approximation of humans demonstrating mutual respect and interest in cooperation. Violence is expected to cease once rioters see it and realize that all of this back-and-forth was just for another season of American Idol.