Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Possible Plotlines In The Sex & The City Movie

Today, September 19th, is a day that will be burned forever in the minds of moviegoers everywhere. Years, or at least months from now we will look back on this day and remember that it was the day when it all began–the day when our already charred sensibilities were once again scorched by the flames of idiotic fashions, when long-forgotten fears of echoing, punny rhetorical questions were once again riled, and when the world once again took on that sickly, candy pink, Cosmo-colored hue.

In other words, the Sex & The City movie started shooting in New York today– an event marked by the release of this harrowing photo, bravely captured on the front lines:

Image for article titled Possible Plotlines In The Sex & The City Movie

Based soley on this image, here are a few possible plotlines in the Sex & The City movie:

—Mr. Big is now a zombie.

—Carrie has become a successful accessories designer, and all of the pieces in her collection represent a milestone in her relationship with Mr. Big in the most idiotic way possible: An Eiffel Tower handbag to commemorate her time in Paris with him; A pair of elbow length gloves that form a picture of the Statue Of Liberty when you put your hands together, to celebrate New York, the first place they fell in love; A hat in the shape of the Taj Mahal as a remembrance of that time they ate really good Indian together; etc.

—Big and Carrie desperately cling to each other out of boredom, lack of options, and fear of the spectre of death that is constantly stalking them in the shape of a shiny black car.

—Veteran NYPD detective Logan's new partner is a rookie and a woman! Will they be able to set aside their differences and work together to find out who kidnapped that cabbie?

—Carrie's shoe collection exacts a long-overdue revenge by actually eating her feet whenever she slips on a pair. But since Carrie refuses to give up her shoes (ladies looove their shoes, you know?), she is forced to perpetually lean on Big in order to stand on her rapidly disintegrating feet. Hilarity ensues.