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R. Kelly Is Trapped In The Closet With Usher

Hard to believe, but it's been over a year since R. Kelly gave the world the comedic R&B; melodrama "Trapped In The Closet," with all of its ridiculous plot twists, midgets in cupboards, nosy neighbors with spatulas, and cliffhangers that end with the haunting phrase, "Oh my God, a rubber…rubber…rubber." "Same Girl," Kelly's new duet with Usher, isn't as prolific as "Trapped," but it describes a scenario we've all experienced at one point or another: When you're getting ready to go out on tour, or go to New York for your fragrance launch, and you find out that you and your R&B; rival/basketball buddy have been dating the same girl! Yes, the one with the license plates that say, "Angel!" But as evidenced by the "Same Girl" video, R. Kelly is still a big fan of the devestatingly stupid plot twist: he's like an R&B; M. Night Shyamalan. Or, you know, an urban version of the guy who wrote the murder mystery episode of Saved By The Bell.

Lessons learned: —All phone conversations between R. Kelly and Usher begin with a falsetto, "Ooooooh." —Both R. Kelly and Usher are really, really busy. I mean, Usher's got that fragrance launch in New York, and then he's got to go to Cleveland.. —Parties at clubs in Atlanta are not complete without a steady stream of cash flowing from the ceiling. —Parties in Chicago look like Miami. —Beware of boy-shorts-wearing, ankle-tattoo-sporting, Georgia Tech grads who work for TBS. They are heart-breakers. Also, evidently, there are a lot of them.

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