"September" co-writer on Taylor Swift's cover: "Lethargic as a drunk turtle" 

Finally, a Taylor Swift beef worth talking about. Over the weekend, songwriter Allee Willis, a member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame and co-writer of Earth, Wind & Fire’s 1978 nonsense-word ass-shaker “September,” addressed Swift’s recent cover of the song. She did so at her one-woman show in Detroit, where Willis told stories and sang songs from her decades in the music business.

One of the most recent involved being contacted by Swift’s reps a few hours before her version of “September” was due to be released; at her publicist’s behest, Willis released a complimentary statement about Swift’s cover. That statement has since been retracted, and how: “I didn’t really think she did a horrible job,” Willis told the assembled crowd. “Yes, I felt it was as lethargic as a drunk turtle dozing under a sunflower after ingesting a bottle of Valium, and I thought it had all the build of a one-story motel, but, I mean, the girl didn’t kill anybody. She didn’t run over your foot. She just cut a very calm and somewhat boring take of one of the peppiest, happiest, most popular songs in history.”