In 1999, Sisqo released “Thong Song,” an ode to women’s thongs and how much Sisqo would like to see them. Though the sentiment is timeless, the song is now, unfortunately, dated: “Thong Song” captured a markedly pre-Y2K thong, designed for late-20th-century butts. After all, in the era of its debut, artists had only begun to explore the many ways in which butts could clap. Many butts clapped according to a primitive system of pulleys and levers. Meanwhile, perhaps some college dormitories and upper middle-class homes had access to broadband butt-clapping, but most of America still used dial-up. During the 18 years since we first heard “Thong Song,” butt-clapping and the music that celebrates it have seen some incredible advances. Also, Sisqo made the “Thong Song” again.
And now the fruits of those parallel labors—a reworking of “Thong Song” for producer JCY, and for the butts of today—have premiered at Buzzfeed. There Sisqo explains, “I’ve been asked so many times over the years to make a new version of ‘Thong Song’ and I have declined every time.” But those people who are always petitioning Sisqo to make another rendition of “Thong Song”—swarming him in the streets and screaming to please update “Thong Song” for the butts of a new generation, Sisqo, these butts have seen so much already in their lifetimes, including 9/11, and they have their own way of doing things, distinct from the butts of their elders—will at last be given satisfaction.
“I have declined every time until I heard the new version that JCY did,” Sisqo says. “I thought it was dope and figured maybe it was time to put some new rims on the Bugatti.”
Whether this new “Thong Song” becomes a big enough hit to purchase these $800 Bugatti rims on eBay remains to be seen. But conceptually, at least, the 2.0 version of “Thong Song” is already a smash success. There are still thongs, and the 41-year-old Sisqo still wants to see them. There are young women whose dumps remain like trucks and whose thighs persist like what, their indeterminate taints hugged by strips of underwear like wow, this is the future we have long dreamed about. And it has all been tastefully updated with a production that has more of a modern, anesthetized marimba vibe, like an iPhone that can’t help loving dat ass.