So, Johnny Depp, Edgar Wright, and Neil Gaiman walk into a movie...

By William Hughes | October 24, 2015 | 7:47pm

Aux Features Film

Threatening to finally break down the barriers between our world and the Quirkiverse, where everything is interesting, Variety is reporting that Johnny Depp, Neil Gaiman, and Edgar Wright might be teaming up to make a film. The proposed project, an adaptation of Gaiman’s time-travelling children’s story Fortunately, The Milk, would tell the tale of a father who goes out to get his children some breakfast, and ends up bouncing through all of time and space. Wright—who’s currently in production on Baby Driver with Ansel Elgort—would direct the film, with Depp in talks to play the dad.

And while the project-as-described could conceivably stay just on the safe side of the Charm Singularity—in which no one is safe from an apocalyptic tidal wave of gently bemused smiles—we regret to inform you that Bret McKenzie, of Flight Of The Conchords, has also signed on, having been tapped to co-write the script. At this point, it’s barely even worth mentioning that Animal Logic Entertainment, the studio that animated The Lego Movie, will also be working on the film, because we’re already so far over the red line that no one is likely to survive.