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Stephen King sort of just suggested Lindsay Lohan for Carrie

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This morning we reported that MGM was moving forward on its new version of Carrie, one that would dust off and fluff up the dirty pillows of Stephen King’s original novel for a whole new generation. Now King himself has weighed in—predictably, to Entertainment Weekly, which cemented its close relationship with the author when it basically just published his iPod playlist and Netflix queue week after week for seven long years—and as he did when he considered those prospective remakes of It and The Stand, the first question that came to his mind was “why, when the original is so good?” Well, 3-D for one, duh, but also the chance to hew more faithfully to his own source material, then improve it with iPhones. Like, instead of dumping pig’s blood on Carrie at the prom, the popular kids just set up a really mean Facebook page. What, do we have to write this ourselves?

Anyway, King’s shortsightedness is apparently not so great that he won’t allow himself to muse on it, at least, and he concedes that he might be able to support it if they handed it over to “one of the Davids: Lynch or Cronenberg.” Of course, Cronenberg’s pretty busy, and Lynch is more into music these days, so that seems unlikely, but at least King has set his standards so high. Or then again, maybe not: “Lindsay Lohan as Carrie White… hmmm,” he says, which is either a sarcastic remark on the deleteriously opportunistic path this could end up taking, or just a daydream of seeing Lindsay Lohan pelted with tampons, we’re not sure which.