Here's a brief history of celebrities trademarking their kids' names, in honor of DJ Khaled and his "toddler mogul" son

Internet celebrity and music producer DJ Khaled made headlines this week—the non-getting-dunked-on-by-Jack-White kind, for once—with his announcement that he intended to trademark the name of his 18-month-old son, Asahd. And while promises of Asahd-branded “cosmetics, clothing, video games, children’s books, pacifiers…

MoonPie and Wendy's are friends now because the internet is a corporate hellscape

The confines of their old, stuffily corporate nature long since shed, the brands have been steadily working to convince us they’re human. Not content merely to own our stomachs and minds, they’ve taken to Twitter, cannily tricking us into imagining them as something other than the twisted assemblage of focus-tested…

The worst things on the internet in 2017

There were many things on the internet in 2017, some of which were very good! Dril is here, for example. Tom Hanks still signs all of his tweets “Hanx.” The internet turned the Babadook into a gay icon, and there was that time Kurt Eichenwald tweeted out some tentacle porn. These were all good things, worth…

Wendy's steps in, puts the "Is Twin Peaks a movie?" debate to rest

2017 is a weird time to be a brand. Where once the marketing arms of major fast food conglomerates were just expected to find inventive ways to say “Our square hamburgers will briefly stave off your body’s endless need for sustenance,” the fast food social media ecosystem has now become a much wilder place. Today’s…

You will never be able to un-see Wendy’s mascot as a smug anime girl

Wendy’s social team has had a big 2017, finding its off-handed dismissal of a troll suddenly picked up on as a feel-good reverse David and Goliath narrative, in which a corporate behemoth steps on a tiny troll and everyone cheers because fuck trolls. Since then, the Wendy’s team has gone full-on shit-poster, eagerly…

Millions of people band together to get a kid free Wendy’s chicken nuggets

If there’s one thing Americans love more than fast food, it’s a determined underdog facing off against the big corporations that shovel it down our throats. Hence the drama currently surrounding Nevada teenager Carter Wilkerson, a kid with a simple desire: Score a year’s free supply of Wendy’s chicken nuggets.…

Read This: A definitive ranking of chicken nuggets

There’s an innate sense of shame that comes with eating chicken nuggets. Maybe it’s the tiny dipping cups. Maybe it’s that we know they’re made from circus animals. Or maybe it’s because you’re a grown-ass adult eating something called “nuggets.” You may as well be sitting in a high chair, crumbs dusting your bib.

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The Violent Femmes do too much on their first new record in 16 years

Everyone reaches a point at which hearing the opening riff of “Blister In The Sun”—for maybe the hundredth time, maybe the thousandth—results in a spontaneously induced catatonic state, triggered by decades worth of overexposure. There’s nothing much to be done about it, really. As part of the soundtrack for a 1997…

Read This: Chain restaurant employees pick the items you should never order

Chain restaurants are a beautifully grotesque thing. There’s something comforting about food that perfectly meets expectations, but also an underlying question about the food’s quality that’s best left unasked. But thanks to—surprise, surprise—Reddit, that question has been asked, by way of a thread that solicits…