The Good Place’s points system for judging the eventual worth of a human life is intentionally inscrutable and unfair—who among us hasn’t occasionally been moved to steal copper wiring from a decommissioned military base, huh?—but we’re pretty sure that surreptitiously filming your cast mates in a moment of unguarded…

“I either know exactly what I’m doing and it’s something. Or we’re doing nothing and I’m winning.”

Or are we all just pawns in the tarantula squids’ game?

“The Soul Squad is on a roll.”

“God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?”

“Okay, that was an insane thing for us to do.”

“The key was Eleanor and Chidi’s connection.”

They Remain knows that the past can never stay buried for long. The movie takes one of the most common of horror tropes—seen in everything from Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” to the hoary old “ancient Indian burial ground” made famous by Poltergeist—and twists it, until potentially awful supernatural consequences become…

“Hot diggity dog.”

First off, let’s hear it for the Judge. The fact that Eleanor, Chidi, Jason, and Tahani were going to throw themselves on the mercy of this weirdo universe’s all-seeing arbiter of Good and Bad Place placement set off a flurry of dream casting guessing games. And while the suggestions on my Twitter feed (Amy Poehler…

“Jortles!”

“The real Bad Place was the friends we made along the way?”

“Why is it always the ones you most expect?”

“The best news is, none of this is suspicious.”

So let’s get philosophical.

“He just smoked a big bowl of ennui.”

“But it’s hilarious. Of course, I mean sad.”

“Okay. Take two, folks.”

Look, no sentient being reads a review before watching the thing being reviewed and then complains about spoilers. Still, in the interest of not getting yelled at by a TV-loving rock or something… SPOILERS. Big ones.

“What’s My Motivation” is The Good Place in a rush. It’s tempting to call this episode a table-setter, as Eleanor, Jason, and Janet all seek an abrupt escape at the end of the episode, while Michael, Tahani, Chidi, and Real Eleanor are scrambling to help them. Sure, Michael’s help involves rebooting Janet in order to…