World’s worst tweeter Neil deGrasse Tyson can’t stop/won’t stop trying to “enhance your viewing pleasure” with his inane musings on things that aren’t astrophysics. Time and again, Tyson has streamed cold piss over the things you love by asserting that, no, they are not “awesome”—a word we once reserved for truly awesome things, like dinosaurs—and, no, you can’t just send some oil drillers to space to blow up an asteroid.
“I will cite things that I think they could’ve done better,” he’s said of his bad film tweets. “Not that they got wrong.” Well, Noah Baumbach, Tyson’s Marriage Story review is in and it appears you really could’ve done a better job naming the darn thing.
“The film A Marriage Story (2019) should instead have been named A Divorce Story,” he tweeted on Monday morning, delivering a post that would only be acceptable if it were being read aloud by Norm Macdonald.
Is he trolling? Has to be. He’s smart, right? He’s an astrophysicist. There is no way to be aware of Marriage Story’s existence and not know it is about divorce. There is not a single ad, blurb, trailer, or article that does not make this abundantly clear. But then you remember: This is Neil deGrasse Tyson, notoriously bad Twitter user, and that, whether he’s aware of it or not, he is definitely trolling you. Nobody enjoys his tweets. They serve no purpose except to piss people off. We’re pissed off just writing this. It’s Marriage Story, Neil, not A Marriage Story. Christ.
The many replies to this tweet illustrate this collective anger, which manifests in a number of different ways, both good and bad. The best replies call into question Tyson’s logic, interrogating whether he takes issue with other titles that don’t explicitly make clear a movie’s content.
These are the jokes, and they are good. But there is something sadder in these responses, something that, by virtue of their pointlessness, their lonely, self-aggrandizing appeals to a man who is most assuredly not reading his replies, craters the soul.
Yes, we’re talking about the people explaining to Neil deGrasse Tyson why he is wrong and that Marriage Story is a good title, actually.
The only thing sadder, perhaps, is the person leaving their own bad review and tagging the official Marriage Story Twitter account to make sure it sees it.
We take it back. The worst—and thereby funniest—replies are from those scorning Tyson for “spoiling” Marriage Story by revealing it’s about a divorce. But since it’s sometimes hard to tell who’s being earnest and who isn’t, let us instead delight in those piling on someone who very clearly was joking when they admonished Tyson for “ruining” the film.
There are currently nearly 2,000 replies to this tweet.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org