The James Bond film series is very good, but in this hectic modern world of ours it’s also just too long. Who has time, between scrolling mindlessly through multiple social media feeds or lovingly placing dog noses on their selfies just so, to sit down and watch decades of films that demand our undivided attention for two entire hours at a time?
Nobody, grandpa, and that’s why the folks at Team Spyral have done us the great good service of recutting the entire Bond filmography into a single, exceedingly bizarre movie.
Called, quite subtly, DIE SPY KILL KILL, the project began as an editing experiment and expanded greatly until Team Spyral ended up creating a two hour, sixteen minute mash-up, freely available on its site, that brings six different Bonds, from Connery to Craig, together. The plot sees them ignoring chronology and coherency to fight to the death in what’s essentially a more refined, tux-wearing version of the warring dimensions of our selfhood that exists within us all.
The trailer sums up the aesthetic whiplash you’d expect, moving jarringly through the enormously different styles of filmmaking that mark a film series spanning such an enormous length of time. That said, taken in its creators intended spirit—they call it an “affectionate parody” meant to “spread the magic of the Bond films old and new to a wider audience”—DIE SPY KILL KILL’s wild ambition is a lot of fun.
Head over to the project site for more details or to watch the Bond deathmatch play out for yourself in the full movie. Next up, let’s hope for a supercut that sees the six Bonds edited together not to fight, but to romance one another, finally fulfilling the dozens of Lazenby/Brosnan fanshippers’ most complicated desires.