The Greatest Judgmental Tabloid Headline Ever

By Amelie Gillette  |  May 16, 2006 | 10:09pm
Aux Features Hater

I've been searching for it for a long time, but finally Star has lived up to the challenge.

Here's the greatest judgmental tabloid headline ever: Hollywood's Hottest Trend: Baby Before Marriage

(Check it out here) It's perfect really. I love how it puts unplanned pregnancy on the same level as wearing leggings, or studying Kabbalah. Hollywood stars are only having drunken, condom-free sex at inopportune times of the month because it's cool. Yes. Of course.

And what evidence does Star have to back up this "trend"? Pictures. Of unmarried pregnant celebrities.

Implication: Just look at these unwed mothers.

And quotes from a doctor (of relationship science, I guess):

Why the non-traditional family planning? "Hollywood tends to buck convention," says relationship expert Dr. Ian Kerner.

Implication: Those people will do what ever they want, right in our faces. Even doctors say so.

Not to mention the irrefutable evidence of nursery rhymes:

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage, right? Not in Hollywood!

Implication: Nothing is sacred to these Hollywood types. Also, everyone should live their lives according to pleasant rhyming phrases.

The only way this headline could have been better is if it was Hollywood's Hottest Trend: Bastard Children

 
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