Just as Hell is divided into many circles, so is YouTube. Below the circle of adults unboxing children’s toys, the shadow realm of vape trick compilations, and the valley of Blue Oyster Cult playlists lies the blandly informative and respectable region of practical videos. Down here, people who don’t cuss demonstrate how to replace your computer’s hard drive or change the oil in your snowblower. This is where small businesses tell you about their patent-pending innovations.
If this normcore world of YouTube product demos has a hero, it must be Scott Dordick:
Some people may lack a natural interest in his company’s (well-reviewed) $400 ballheads. But it’s hard to imagine a viewer who cannot appreciate the transfixing piece of outsider marketing that accompanies them. Backed by what sounds like a lost track from the Samurai Cop OST, Dordick’s oddly paced monologue turns the dross of ad copy into YouTube gold, creating a hypnotic spectacle full of repetitive phrasing and idiosyncratic flourishes.
An earlier video showcases the same mesmerizing style, as well as a headset that several YouTube commenters compared to Lobot’s:
No roundup of Acratech’s transcendently monotonous output would be complete without this depraved orgy of ballhead destruction:
Sadly, Acratech’s more memorable videos seem to tail off around 2011, perhaps because haters in the comments kept decrying the “robot” voice, complaining about the music, and spinning conspiracy theories about the “over dub” (there are videos where the CEO speaks normally, but the distinctive “Dordick sound” is likely just him redubbing his own lines with a cheap mic).
Or maybe the existing videos had just said all there was to say about the company’s ballheads. In any case, they remain a curious sight for any viewer passing by on their journey down to the center of YouTube, where PewDiePie stands in a frozen lake holding feuding vegan celebrities in each of his three mouths.
[via Zack Kimble]