The MTV Movie Awards nominate either Channing Tatum or Seth Rogen for Best Shirtless Performance
The lights have been turned off, the red carpets have been rolled up, and the celebrities have retreated to their compounds, where they will either celebrate their victories or mourn their defeats with the help of expensive vaporizers and eye creams made from the blood of nigh-extinct flightless birds. The Oscars have been handed out, and awards season is finally over.
EXCEPT IT’S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” begins playing)
The nominees for the 2015 MTV Movie Awards were announced today, and in keeping with its reputation as the fun, quirky awards show where anything can happen—particularly if that “anything” involves a movie for teens that made a lot of money—the show has made the bold and unexpected choice of nominating the unconventionally attractive Channing Tatum and Zac Efron for Best Shirtless Performance. It also somehow managed to both outdo the Oscars by nominating David Oyelowo and snub the 38-year-old stage and screen veteran by nominating him in the “Breakthrough Performance” category, an award he will almost certainly lose to 20-year-old Ansel Elgort.
The Breakthrough Performance nod was only one of the five nominations garnered by Elgort for his performance as an ex-basketball player and amputee who falls in love with cancer patient Shailene Woodley in The Fault In Our Stars. The only other nominee to receive that many honors was Seth Rogen, who between Neighbors and The Interview had a powerhouse year of middling comedies whose publicists have pull at MTV. Guardians Of The Galaxy, The Fault In Our Stars and Neighbors led the movie nominations with seven each, which sounds about right for an awards show that considers the natural process of childhood development an on-screen transformation comparable to Zoe Saldana’s makeup job in Guardians Of The Galaxy. It also has a category with the word “shit” in the name; okay, it bleeped out the “shit,” but we all knew it was there. Turn down for what?
(Male strippers perform amid a flurry of confetti and air horns. Cut to Rihanna, looking unimpressed.)
A full list of nominees is below.
Movie of the Year
American Sniper
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Guardians of the Galaxy
Gone Girl
The Fault In Our Stars
Boyhood
Whiplash
Selma
Best Female Performance
Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Emma Stone, Birdman
Shailene Woodley, The Fault In Our Stars
Reese Witherspoon, Wild
Scarlett Johansson, Lucy