Boy, this show really went off the rails fast, huh? We’re halfway through The Shards now, and what once seemed like a promising (if flawed) story of paranoia and alienation has descended into something unrecognizable, whether you’ve read the source material or not.
“Murder On The Dancefloor” is structured around the taping of Dance Off!, an event absent from the novel. In theory, it makes for a solid premise: The competition provides a reason for most of the cast to share the same space, and it allows a well-acted supporting character (Debbie) to finally take the spotlight. The setting also makes for a good slasher scenario; it’s pretty apparent from the beginning that somebody will die at this event, especially considering that episode title.
But the episode doesn’t take advantage of any of that stuff. Instead, this feels like an episode of uncut Ryan Murphy delirium, complete with the random and unnecessary tangents that mainly exist to provide “comedy” or “’80s vibes.” Take the ridiculous production team characters, who mainly just do coke and bicker about what to show on TV. I had a lot of fun with the judge segments during the show choir competitions on Glee, but those actually had real jokes and memorable guest stars.
Sure, the episode accomplishes some of its very basic aims. The conflict developing between Debbie and Susan is reaching a boiling point, for example. Debbie spends so much of this week telling her best friend about how much it means to her to win Groover Of The Week, even actively asking her not to win for once—and then Susan goes ahead and wins the show by a landslide anyway, devastating the person who brought her here. Debbie isn’t the most complex character, but at least her point of view is clear and understandable, and her father’s desperation to please his daughter adds some interesting texture to an otherwise straightforward slimeball. It’s also nice to see Bret throw his girlfriend a bone and lay on some sex appeal to aid her performance.
The love triangle storyline, meanwhile, is really stalling out. We’re hitting the same beats here as last week, even down to Thom’s jealousy of Robert’s superior dancing. We get it: Thom is envious and angry about the obvious, open flirting between Robert and his girlfriend, and Susan is deeply drawn to the new guy despite her love for her boyfriend.
I did quite enjoy Thom and Robert’s solo scene together, which is at least entertaining: We get the two sensually swaying together, we get Thom calling him out on his bullshit (“You’re not so nice” is my favorite part), and we get Robert completely eviscerating Thom using his words. That’s a verbal lashing Thom will not be forgetting anytime soon. But the story just ends the same way as last time, with the two getting into a physical altercation. Sure, the context is slightly different than in “Robert’s Party”: Robert is in cold manipulator mode this week, not just unhinged and instigating. Either way, though, he invariably comes away from these confrontations with the same barely tarnished reputation. There’s no change week to week.
Still, at least the Thom scenes… well, matter. I can’t say the same for the scenes with Dance Off! host Tony Cruz (Anthony Ramos) and Debbie’s longtime nemesis Cha Cha. Those scenes are just befuddling. If this is some half-assed attempt to build Cha Cha up as a character so that her death means something, it failed. Why strand her in this bizarre subplot with another character we’ve never seen before? And why turn her into some cartoon vixen who keeps threatening to tell Tony’s wife about their affair and demanding a family with him? (She’s also pregnant, apparently.) None of this stuff feels real, and it barely even works as an ’80s parody. It’s just confusing.
Cha Cha becomes the Trawler’s latest victim in this episode, and it’s really predictable, honestly, even down to the execution (no pun intended). The bathroom sneak-up is just basic at this point, and Cha Cha had “cannon fodder” written all over her. Otherwise, the Trawler is hardly present in this episode at all, especially compared to those first few. Yes, we get the customary heavy breathing on the phone, along with the “eat it” refrain from the abduction rituals. But the search for the killer isn’t a focus, supplanted by teen drama and gimmicky side stories.
I’ll admit that I wasn’t expecting the cliffhanger at the end: Rhonda skates into the taping after news of Cha Cha’s disappearance spreads, scratched up and bloody but very much alive. It’s an intriguing turn, I guess, since we assumed she and Matt were both toast in the long run. Does this mean Bret will go after Robert even harder, now that there’s a possibility he could save Matt?
But the final line of the episode—“Did I miss the party?”—undercuts the impact of the reveal. You can imagine Murphy thinking it sounds badass or funny; you can also imagine him nodding happily after thinking of the image of Rhonda wearing her usual skates. But in both cases, the scene falls flat, because there’s no genuine emotion behind what’s happening. We should see and feel Rhonda’s pain and fear and panic, not just laugh at some quip. But this is customary for Murphy of late; he falls back on “dark comedy” or stylization instead of recognizing and investing in the humanity of his characters. That’s just not what he’s interested in. It’s too bad, because The Shards is its characters, no matter how spoiled and entitled and narcissistic most of them may be. I’m realizing that by the time I start actually caring about any of these people—if I start caring about any of these people—it’ll be way too late.
Stray observations
- • What’s the deal with Steven implicitly threatening to out Ryan as a porn star? Random as hell. And I still feel like I barely even know Ryan as a character. That honestly goes for most of these characters, though.
- • “It’s Proust, but I understand why someone would say ‘Prowst.’” I did actually laugh out loud at this line.
- • Terry seems to show a rare bit of guilt about the possibility of hurting his daughter more than he already has. That’s probably not going to stop him from meeting her boyfriend at the Beverly Hills Hotel and trying to take their quid-pro-quo relationship to the next level, though.
- • We get a bit of backstory for Susan this week: Apparently her parents want her to be a lawyer, but she might rather be a ballerina. Great.
- • Why did Debbie verbally confirm to the world that she recognized that crying caller as her dad? I would make sure absolutely nobody found that out.
- • It’s not at all surprising that Murphy directed and co-wrote this episode, but I expected more from co-writer Charles Rogers, who co-created Search Party. Looks like he’s credited on the final stretch of episodes, too.
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