With only eight days left until the world gathers around its aluminum poles to squint glasses-less at one another over dinner and compete in feats of strength, the Tampa Bay Times is helping prepare for another Festivus by inviting readers to air their grievances through its publication.
The Times introduces its sixth annual Festivus celebration by asking visitors: “What did strangers, family members, businesses, sports teams, your boss, your pets, your dentist, your local supermarket—anyone or anything—do to aggravate you in 2021?” The paper invites everyone to use an included form to submit their “top complaints” from this year and will publish a bunch of them “for everyone to deal with” on the big day itself, December 23rd.
In its previous edition, the Times answered the question of why it “and others around the world [are] still celebrating Festivus, a made-up holiday from a beloved ‘90s Seinfeld episode” by stating, simply: “It’s because we like it. It’s funny. It’s a good way to see what’s on people’s minds in a given year, because there is no Festivus tradition more important than ‘the airing of grievances.’”
Despite the very serious complaints that many could have written in for the 2020 edition, readers submitted a lot of grievances about mundane stuff, too. One guy wrote in, “There’s no reason to stand while the plane is deboarding.” Another submitted, “Coleslaw! I refuse to have anything to do with it until someone can tell me what either cole or slaw is!” Someone complained about not getting The Winds Of Winter yet and, in our favorite, one grievance just reads, “My shoes hurts. And I don’t like car alarms.”
If you’d like to submit a complaint, grumble on over to the form right here.
There is, as far as we know, no cash prize awarded to those with the most eloquently worded grievances. We assume that all money associated with the paper’s Festivus go directly to The Human Fund instead.
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