Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, May 16. All times are Eastern.
Don’t Trust The B—— In Apartment 23 (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): So many ways we could go with this, the last Wednesday before the last Wednesday of the TV season (which is next week). That day, we’ll be contractually obligated to put the bloated, awful American Idol finale as the top pick, so this is our last chance to exercise some free will. Will we pick the greatness that is Suburgatory? Or the next-to-last Revenge of the season? Or perhaps America’s Next Top Model because we feel bad for it never being in this spot? No, we’re going to pick this fun little sitcom, which has built up a nice head of steam in its first, abbreviated season and got a second season pickup late last week. Check it out tonight and see what all the fuss is about. Emily Guendelsberger will be there for you.
American Idol (Fox, 8 p.m.): Just three singers remain, and we only recently realized that one is seriously named Phillip Phillips, and he just might be the favorite to win the whole thing. We’d ask Claire Zulkey just what she thinks this show is fooling at, but we can’t wait for Phil-Phil to be our new overlord.
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): When Frankie turns Brick into a snitch who tattles on his siblings, Mike isn’t happy about the whole situation. That’s because, see, Mike used to be a janitor, and the janitor’s code doesn’t allow for any weakness. Will Harris once ran afoul of some janitors and barely escaped alive.
Suburgatory (ABC, 8:30 p.m.): Babies are everywhere in this first season finale, and we’re hoping the show takes care of this whole Eden situation quickly and doesn’t try to cliffhanger it or anything like that. Brandon Nowalk wants you to know it’s not you, Alicia Silverstone, it’s him. He’s so sorry.
America’s Next Top Model (The CW, 9 p.m.): It’s time for go-sees, everybody’s favorite time in the Model season, and this year’s edition takes place in Hong Kong! Hong Kong! Margaret Eby has been studying the plummeting ratings for the show and knows this might be one of the last go-sees you’ll see.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): The show has sometimes seemed a bit too stuck on the same old setups as always this season, but tonight’s episode mixes and matches the family in what sounds like appealing fashion. Plus, it’s an Alex episode, and Donna Bowman always enjoys a good Alex episode.
America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV, 10 p.m.): International dance styles are incorporated into routines set to the music of Pitbull. Rowan Kaiser is truly excited for this, because if there are two things he enjoys, it’s the music of Pitbull and international dance styles. And, okay, ‘90s PC shooter Hexen.
Revenge (ABC, 10 p.m.): Emily and Jack get closer in the wake of a loss. The episode’s called “Grief,” so we’re betting there will be some good, old-fashioned penultimate episode wallowing. Carrie Raisler is down for a good wallow, and she can’t wait for this to air an hour earlier, so she can get to bed earlier.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The Sopranos (1 p.m.): Johnny Sack’s daughter is getting married, and Johnny, Tony, and Vito are all facing their own weakness in a crucial episode for the show’s sixth season. Todd VanDerWerff doesn’t know what the big deal is about a mobster crying. He thinks everybody should cry all of the time!
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Nature (PBS, 8 p.m.): Tonight’s installment is entitled “Cracking The Koala Code.” Wait. Those little fuckers have been speaking in code all this time? They’ve probably been plotting the demise of good Australians everywhere, and PBS has just been sitting on that information all this time! Bastards!
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9 p.m.): It’s the final episode for Paget Brewster’s Emily Prentiss, and it’s a two-hour goodbye, though we’re going to assume not all two hours of the show will be about her, what with the giant bank hostage situation that the team finds itself embroiled in. Yes, the ol’ hostage storyline.
South Beach Tow (TruTV, 9:30 p.m.): There’s been a reality show about a towing company airing all this time, and nobody told us? But didn’t they know that we’ve been waiting for a show about how awesome it is to work in the towing industry for ages now? Thanks, TruTV. Thanks a lot.
America’s Psychic Challenge (Lifetime Real Women, 10 p.m.): We have basically no idea what this is beyond the fact that its title sounds like the most awesome reality show ever. We should probably be covering it, huh? We’re picturing a bunch of psychics stranded on a beach somewhere to survive.
Dead End (TCM, 8 p.m.): William Wyler directed this version of the play about the problems of people living in the slums and getting wrapped into a life of crime. Humphrey Bogart and Joel McCrea star, and we have no idea whether this movie is any good beyond that, since we’ve never seen it. It sounds cool!
Twister (Encore, 8 p.m.): We have seen this one, which probably says something terrible about our cinematic education, huh? Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton try to fix their marriage while chasing tornadoes. The network description notes this is one of the first films to be released on DVD. So there’s that.
NBA Playoff: Game 2: Lakers at Thunder (TNT, 9:30 p.m.): Kobe Bryant and his merry brand of pranksters head to Oklahoma City to attempt a run at yet another title. Do you think they can do it? Pretty much everybody we know here in Los Angeles is hanging on the answer to that question.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
NCIS: Los Angeles (Tuesday): We had heard that this series had gotten a lot better this season, becoming more and more comedic and less and less dour. So we sent in Phil Dyess-Nugent to check it out, as we always do. He came away with an appreciation for the show’s love of big explosions.