A big reason Anne Rice’s writing about the undead strikes a chord is the excruciating detail in which she explores the prolonged relationships between immortals. And she did it decades before vampires became the poster children for tortured teen love triangles. Unlike humans, the connections between these characters don’t die when they do. In fact, the feelings heighten—whether it’s love, hate, longing, rage, or a combination of it all, as seen in this week’s The Vampire Lestat. “The Devil’s Road” doesn’t just give us more important context for Lestat’s abandonment issues—thanks for that, Gabriella!—but it also zeroes in on Louis’ inability to move on from his dead daughter and Daniel’s fury toward his maker. Let’s just say that everyone in this show is suffering deeply right now, except for Lestat’s coke-addled bandmates. That The Vampire Lestat somehow makes it so much fun to watch their agony is quite an achievement.
The strongest aspect of “The Devil’s Road” is Jonathan Ceniceroz’s fairly comical script—it’s hysterical enough that I had to write down whole chunks of Daniel’s monologues and Lestat’s one-liners. Speaking of the former—or “The Vampire Bourdain,” as Lestat calls him in a way that made me chuckle—I understand his anger toward Armand, but the show’s weak spot is not digging into their connection prior to their reunion in this episode. Season three hasn’t put in the work, so when Armand pops into the band’s latest stop in Albany and says things like it wasn’t his love for Louis (but Danny?) that drove his decisions in Dubai, it lacks emotional depth.
We haven’t seen or heard his side of the story yet, or Daniel’s, for that matter. How and why did Armand turn Daniel 22 days after Louis left them in Dubai at the end of season two? What went down during those three weeks is as much of a mystery as the plane ride back to the U.S., when Armand finally turned the journalist and promptly left him to his own devices to figure out his brand new vampire life. Daniel has been wearing his anger like armor since then, wondering why his “father” isn’t around to teach him about any powers he might possess.
So now, when Armand arrives on an apology tour, Daniel isn’t pleased. He doesn’t even let Armand get a word in before his rage takes over. Let’s read his dismissal in full: “Stop. Turn around, walk in the opposite direction ’til you’re halfway around the world. Once there, find a radioactive storage facility and, as is your way, asshole your way inside and see if the workers will give you a couple of spent fuel rods to suck on. Do that for however long it takes until your eyes begin to cave in and your dick falls off. After that, lose my number. After that, fuck off.”
It doesn’t end there. When Armand persists and starts reading his letter, Daniel stops him and rattles off another string of insults: Armand is a “friendless bottom twink socipath” who gives off “deadbeat, no-child-support vibes”; he’s also, according to Daniel a “500-year-old pussy.” What a treat to witness Eric Bogosian nail these incredible monologues, huh? At last, The Vampire Lestat takes a step forward in examining Daniel’s feelings for Armand and vice versa. Armand is damaged by his own actions, and calls turning Daniel his biggest mistake—that’s quite something coming from a guy who’s lived for half a millennium. There’s a lot of angst between them when they meet later on as well, when Armand confides in Daniel about The Great Conversion and his belief that Lestat will lead it.
Although, again, Lestat has too many issues to deal with right now to even think about how his music has inspired other vampires to create more fledglings and rule the world. He’s ignoring “the voices” of vamps emboldened by his songs. Instead, he spends “The Devil’s Road” in agony because Gabriella has left him again without any notice. It triggers memories of the first time she abandoned him at a crucial juncture in their relationship: Flashbacks depict how, following Nicky’s death, they left Paris and made grand plans to rule the world. But Gabriella knew that, unlike her, Lestat didn’t have evil in him. He wasn’t going to actually stomp around and kill people like the devil she believed them to be. Still, she manipulated him enough to have sex with him, once he barged in on her sleeping with/killing another man in Italy. Yeah, the incest is back in a big way.
It’s a cruel act that continues to shape Lestat’s behavior in the past and present. While touring in Albany, Lestat continues to spiral because Gabriella is barely responding to his texts. Plus, he gets a visit from his old pal Armand, who has an apology letter for him, too. Lestat, of course, doesn’t take it seriously. So when Armand is pouring his heart out, Lestat tortures him by stripping and showering in front of him. It’s also telling that Lestat ignores how Armand calls him someone with rich character—Lestat will do anything to avoid the fact that he’s a good guy deep down, putting up a façade of malevolence instead.
At least Armand’s visit gives us one hell of a Lestat concert: After inviting Armand to the show, Lestat announces his presence to the crowd. (“Look deep into his uwu Japanime eyes as he mindcocks you off a cliff,” Lestat says.) He then goes on to sing and dance to a new song called “Big Boss,” whose crux is to poke fun at Armand. Damn, this vampire is having one of the worst days of his life, huh? (And for a 500-year-old, that’s really saying something.”)
Then there’s Louis, who is on the other end of the state in New York City, still trying to form a friendship with a Claudia lookalike named Regina. However, she is smart enough to realize that the frequent diner doesn’t eat the burger he orders, hangs around only at night, and is far too “posh.” So when he casually claims that the Interview With The Vampire memoir is real, she believes him, especially because she immediately buys and reads a copy. Regina connects the dots: Realizing she looks just like Claudia, she thinks Louis’ offer to pay off her debts and buy her an apartment is less motivated by guilt, and more by the fact that he wants her to accompany him. He denies it, but she’s correct.
So “The Devil’s Road” ends with a horrifying twist. Regina asks for $500,000, which Louis agrees to pay her (she does have an OnlyFans account and a criminal record to get rid of, after all). In return, she pretends to be Claudia. The British accent slips off quickly, and Regina, in a fake Southern drawl, asks, “What now, Daddy Lou?” Cue the chills.
Stray observations:
- •A man shoots Lestat during a fan signing, hoping to prove he really is a vampire. It causes the band to quit, but Gabriella returns and forces Lestat to get them back together. She knows his songs are causing a vampire revolution and doesn’t want her son to stop now.
- •Sam Reid has never looked more like “a toxic bitch, anxiously attached show pony with a personality disorder called Lestat” than during that Albany performance, complete with glittery makeup and pigtails.
- •Another hall of fame line reading from Sam Reid, this time a simple “Chipot-le”
- Much to the band’s amusement, Alex returns. He tells his brother, Larry, about the God-like sponsor he has now, whom he met in the AA meeting. But during the Albany performance, he realizes that Arun is actually the Vampire Armand.
- •Taking note of how Lestat says in this episode that Armand caused more damage than the Queen, referring to Akasha, and when he tells people to look at the Talamasca closely to understand the world’s recent apocalyptic adversaries. Hmm.
Saloni Gajjar is The A.V. Club‘s TV critic.
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