1. Kirstie Alley's Jenny Craig commercials

This includes her appearance on

Oprah in a bikini (and, I think, some kind of control-top pantyhose, check it out, at your own discresion here), and really any appearance she makes, because at this point she basically is her struggle with her weight. I'm surprised Jenny Craig doesn't make her wear a 1-800-Jenny patch on her back, NASCAR-style. 2. The Bachelor

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Evidently, there are still women who send in tapes, or go to mall casting calls to try and get on this show, which is amazing to me because I was completely unaware that ABC was still peddling those plastic rose ceremonies in prime time. Why are women still auditioning for this show? To find love? To become famous in that glamorous Real World/Road Rules Challenge kind of way? It doesn't make sense. Finding out that new episodes of this show were still being made was like finding out that there's a pocket of 30-year-old women who still think the Tooth Fairy exists.

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3. Gushers

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It's safe to assume that we, as a society, will be ok with losing the candy that squirts back at you. But don't do it just to rid grocery stores of an awful novelty candy, do it for VH1. If Gushers are still being widely circulated, then how is VH1 supposed to develop a nostalgia for them? What will Hal Sparks talk about in

I Love The Aughts if not Gushers? 4. Denis Leary's stand-up I'm only basing this on the following quote, but I think the awfulness of it alone is enough to justify a call for the extinction of Leary's stand-up. From the NY Post:

Audiences can expect to see Leary's five-piece band back him on classics like "The A—hole Song" ("I like football and porno and books about war / I've got an average house / With a nice hardwood floor"). They also support him on his new number "The Mel Gibson Blues" ("I like to drink / I like to drive / I like to think that all of the Jews got out of the Holocaust alive").

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A song about Mel Gibson being anti-semetic? It's so edgy it just pushed the envelope on to an edge made entirely of edges!