Tom Cruise to continue his never-ending battle with aliens and also make a movie

By Sean O'Neal | April 16, 2013 | 5:08pm

Aux Features Film

Ever determined to fight the aliens that continue to threaten the enslavement of human souls, as well as make some movies, Tom Cruise has signed on to yet another science-fiction film in which he battles extraterrestrial forces in a way that does not at all suggest a more personal, libelous connection. Cruise will star in Warner Bros.’ Yukikaze, an adaptation of the Japanese novel series and anime that takes place in the “early 21st century,” long after alien forces have invaded Earth through “a dimensional porthole that appeared over Antarctica”—an alternate universe, obviously, and not a parallel to our own Earth’s alien invasion that no one’s officially saying occurred or formed the basis of a religion.

In what appears to be consolation for his missing out on Pacific Rim, Cruise would lead the “special combat force” that decides to take the battle to the aliens’ home planet, thus freeing humanity by using clear thinking to dictate reality, as well as some laser guns. As mentioned earlier, it’s just the latest in an increasingly long line of Cruise’s personal missions to save mankind from extraterrestrials, which includes the upcoming movies Oblivion, All You Need Is Kill, Our Name Is Adam, this thing, and certainly nothing else that you can prove.