Disgusted that someone would take their intellectual property about one woman's repeated, bondage-laced erotic encounters, and transform it into pandering masturbation fodder before they got the chance to, Universal has sued the makers of the redundantly titled Fifty Shades Of Grey: A XXX Adaptation. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Smash Pictures is the subject of the new lawsuit from the studio, which purchased the rights to turn E.L. James' clumsily written fantasies into brand-recognition reality last year. Unfortunately, Smash got to the material first, making a film that Universal claims steals "exact dialogue, characters, events, story, and style from the Fifty Shades trilogy… [ensuring] that the first XXX adaptation was, in fact, as close as possible to the original works"—albeit one free of this awkward argument pretending as though said works should be considered in loftier literary terms than porn, simply because someone put a dust jacket on it.