New father, The Great North voice actor, former Saturday Night Live star, once and future MacGruber, occasional ghost-buster, and titular Last Man On Earth Will Forte kicked off one anecdote on Monday’s Conan by stating, “As you probably are aware, I’m a weird dude.” Conan O’Brien didn’t respond with anything but a knowing nod, because, well, yeah. Still, even noted and gleeful purveyor of the weird O’Brien was taken aback by Forte’s proffered proof of his own eccentricity when the 50-year-old proud papa (of 7-week-old Zoe) whipped out the medical waste bags containing his beloved daughter’s shriveled umbilical cord, and first dirtied diaper.
“You gotta get rid of that!,” yelped an aghast Conan about the (thankfully medical waste-bagged nappy), with Forte explaining that his pack rat tendencies have him thinking of the possible need for the thing should Zoe become “first president of Mars.” Good thinking. Conan conceded his guest the whole umbilical cord issue, because, apparently, that’s a thing. Regardless, Forte’s alternate plan for his beloved offspring’s first poop includes “a good practical joke” gift, but just to “a really good friend.” Just a heads-up to all those in Will Forte’s inner circle to open your mail will rubber gloves on for a while. We’re looking at you, Val Kilmer, who, as Forte recalled with delight, once unexpectedly crashed at Forte’s pad for two months a few years ago. (And, yes, the MacGruber nemeses both sang along whenever The Doors popped up on one of their playlists.)
Luckily for Forte, it appears his fiancée Olivia Modling is a good match, as the older dad showed off the “Dad or Grandpa?” hoodie Modling got for him to wear while pushing Zoe’s stroller. She also appears inured to her betrothed’s penchant for awkward screwups, as evidenced by her not immediately ditching the actor when he sent a picture of her naked breast to the couple’s entire extended family. Sure, there were extenuating circumstances, as a half-busted cellphone screen made Forte think his truly heartwarming and lovely portrait of the just born Zoe sprawled directly on her serenely beautiful mother’s chest for the first time was framed with appropriate modesty when it was 100 percent not. But, as Forte noted, Modling was “a very good sport” about the whole debacle, suggesting that, like most pregnant women, she’d become pretty used to her body being exposed in public. Whether she’s all-in on Forte having blown up the delivery room whoopsie and showing it on national TV, well, we’ll have to see.