Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Valar morghulis: Here are this week’s Game Of Thrones deadpool odds

Photo: HBO
Photo: HBO

Valar morghulis to Erik Adams, who now sits alongside Josh Modell at the bottom of our leaderboard with $0. Erik could still come back, assuming Arya kills Cersei at some point, but until then, he’s like Jon Snow 2.0: dead, and not loving it.

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Anyway, here are this week’s odds:

2-1 Tormund Giantsbane

Photo: HBO
Photo: HBO

Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He’s going to be at the Eastwatch, and that’s where the White Walkers are. I think he’s in big trouble.

The A.V. Club says: Some shit’s going to go down in that battle, and we can’t say we’re not worried for this old red-headed so and so.

5-1 Littlefinger

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He’s snarky, he’s sleazy, and he’s a pimp. No one likes pimps, so he’s got to go.

The A.V. Club says: Even typing the word “Littlefinger” makes us squicked out. He’s gross. He can’t die soon enough.

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6-1 Randyll Tarly

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Randyll is really a superfluous character. They can take him out any time. I don’t care.

The A.V. Club says: There’s no way he made it through that battle.

8-1 Dickon Tarly

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Love his first name, but need to have a hyphen between the “dick” and the “on.”

The A.V. Club says: The internet loves this dude, for some reason. We’re fine with him dying.

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12-1 Melisandre

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: The smoke is running out, and her time is limited.

The A.V. Club says: Something’s still got to play out with her, but we’re not sure it’s going to happen this week.

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15-1 Jaime Lannister, Bronn

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: If they didn’t die last week, they’re going to live until at least the next season.

The A.V. Club says: Jaime’s got to hang around, but Bronn had a big, heroic episode last week, so we wouldn’t be surprised if it’s his time.

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20-1 Varys

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He still has some kind of usefulness.

The A.V. Club says: Eckstein’s right. It’s not his time.

Never-1 Daenerys Targaryen

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: There’s just no way.

The A.V. Club says: Agree. There’s no way she goes now.


Prophecies for profit:

Note: Bets placed here stay active throughout the course of the show.

6-5 Drogon dies from poison absorbed through his arrow wound.

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Photo: HBO
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Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Unfortunately, he’s going to die. It might not happen this week, next week, or until next season. But the crazy freak who invented the giant bow and arrow put long-lasting poison in the arrow, and it’s going to take a while to act. Drogon is named after Khal Drogo, and how did he die? Poison. Like father like son.

Previous prophecies for profit that are still in play:

2-1 The Hound emerges victorious in CleganeBowl.
5-1 The Mountain emerges victorious in CleganeBowl.
10-1 Someone else wins CleganeBowl.
3-1 Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen will sit on the throne together at the end of the series.
Over/under on episodes in which Cersei remains on the Iron Throne: 8.5.
Over/under on how many episodes until Jon Snow’s true parentage is revealed to him: 5.5.

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Over/under on total deaths of named characters this week: 1.5


Our picks this week are:

Emi Tolibas ($432 Westerosi bucks in the bank): $100 on Randyll Tarly, $100 on Dickon Tarly, and $32 on the over.

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John Teti ($150): $150 on Jaime Lannister.

Leo Garcia ($140): $5 on Tormund, $10 on Randyll Tarly, $100 on Dickon Tarly, $5 on Bronn, $20 on the over. “They’ve made all the Dickon jokes they can make already, right?!”

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Marah Eakin ($70): $20 on Tormund, $5 on Dickon, $5 on Randyll, and $10 on Bronn.

Danette Chavez ($70): $5 on the over, and $5 on Dickon.

Karl Blomberg ($60): $10 on Randyll Tarly, $10 on the Drogon prophecy, $10 on the under.

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Caity PenzeyMoog ($36): $5 on Dickon, $5 on Randyll, $5 on Bronn.

Kristi-Lynn Jacovino ($36): $5 on Randyll, $5 on Dickon, $6 on the over. “I still think the Tarlys are going down even if they ‘bend the knee.’”

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Alex McLevy ($15): $5 on Bronn, $5 on Jaime.

Grace Thomas ($10): $10 on Randyll Tarly.

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