Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, December 16. All times are Eastern.
Survivor / Survivor: Reunion Special (CBS, 8 / 10 p.m.): “AFTER 39 DAYS, ONE CASTAWAY WILL BE CROWNED SOLE SURVIVOR AND TAKE HOME THE MILLION DOLLAR PRIZE, ON THE TWO-HOUR SEASON FINALE OF SURVIVOR, FOLLOWED BY THE LIVE REUNION SHOW, WEDNESDAY, DEC. 16.” Well that says it all, but you know how we like to go in deep when we put a pick at the top. This is, in fact, the season finale of this phenomenal season of Survivor, and to prove just how phenomenal the season is, the finale just so happens to be titled “Lie, Cheat And Steal.” Yes, this season finale is the Eddie Guerrero of Survivor seasons. Don’t know how good that is? We’re glad you asked:
That’s pretty damn good, Survivor. Carrie Raisler certainly agrees, and we’re sure her review of the finale will—at the very least—by the Chavo Guerrero Jr. of Survivor reviews.
The Challenge: Battle Of The Bloodlines / The Challenge Aftershow (MTV, 10 / 11 p.m.): This week’s episode of The Challenge is titled “Camilanator: Judgement Day,” which means it’s a sequel to the second greatest “attack” on Johnny Bananas ever. (The greatest is obviously “Johnny Backpack.”)
Please note such highlights as “DON’T TALK TO ME, BECAUSE YOU’RE TALKING TO A WA-ALL” and, of course, “YOU’RE GONNA DIE!”
The Man In The High Castle (Amazon): Is Joe interesting yet? We hope so, because this is the penultimate episode of The Man In The High Castle’s first season. Forget the rest of us. Just do it for Scott Von Doviak, Joe.
WWE NXT TakeOver: London (WWE Network, 3 p.m.): And now for something completely different. We have definitely spoken highly of NXT’s TakeOver specials before, and this time is no different. Again, if you haven’t gotten a chance to check out NXT yet, there’s no better time than right now. Finn Balor versus Samoa Joe! Asuka versus Emma! The joy of wrestling versus main roster WWE! Honestly, even if you don’t watch it, we still intend to get Evil Emma’s entrance theme stuck in your head:
Kingdom (DirecTV, 9 p.m.): Kingdom wraps up its second season with “Traveling Alone,” which appears to keep up the show’s streak of having at least one character filing or planning something. “Ryan defends his lightweight title, while Nate and Jay discover Christina in a bad spot. Alvey gets a call from an old friend, and Lisa makes a final decision regarding her future.” Thank heavens for Lisa, right, Danette Chavez?
American Horror Story: Hotel (FX, 10 p.m.): Last week, she wanted revenge—you see, the episode was titled “She Wants Revenge,” and they weren’t talking about the band (or were they?). This week, “She Gets Revenge.” We’d say sorry about the spoilers, but you can’t blame us for American Horror Story giving up the goods in its episode title. Emily L. Stephens’ review of “She Wants Revenge” pointed out that “a lot of the details” in the episode basically felt like they were “beside the point” and “too little too late.” So all “She Gets Revenge” needs to do to succeed is avoid that, right?
The Magicians (Syfy, 10 p.m.): We hear that you nerds are excited about this new Syfy series, so you’ll be happy to know that the series premiere has arrived early. (You can watch it again with the second episode on January 25, by the way.) For those of you who aren’t big enough nerds to know what the show is about (but are still pretty nerdy), here’s what we’re dealing with: “A group of twenty-somethings studying magic in New York discover a real-life fantasy world that poses a great threat to humanity in this drama adapted from Lev Grossman’s book series.” You know—regular twenty-somethings in New York stuff. (That’s how the last season of Girls went down, right?) Also, we’ve heard rumors that “Lev Grossman” is a pen name for Gob Bluth, but we won’t have confirmation until we hear “The Final Countdown” in this episode.
You like to complain? Wait—don’t answer that. But do check out this brand new AVQ&A if you want to know what shows we here at TV Club were upset didn’t make it on this year’s Best Of TV list.
Which reminds us: part two of our Best TV Of 2015 list is up now, and… We’re just now realizing that we’ve really opened all of this section up for complaints. Oh well—we can’t get off this train now.
So let’s twist the knife with the ballots for the Best TV Of 2015. See how we TV Clubbers voted with our own personal best lists. There. The trifecta of complaints and shame is complete.
But we think we can make it all up to you… Wait, no. Now we’re just showing you all the TV swag we got this year because we’re so cool.
Tia Mowry At Home (Cooking Channel, 8 p.m.): “Tia indulges in some of her favorite decadent foods, including donuts, salted caramel swirl ice cream with spiced pecans, fried chicken with bacon waffles, and grilled watermelon salad.” And we’re the lucky saps who get to watch that. Yay?
Childhood’s End (Syfy, 8 p.m.): Tonight is the night for the third and final installment of the Childhood’s End miniseries. How are you enjoying it? Is Mike Vogel giving you Under The Dome or Pan Am-related feelings? You can tell us. This is a safe space. (Even if that is pretty weird. Unless you’re Erik Adams. Then it makes sense you have Pan Am-related feelings, since you apparently reviewed the entire series.)
Hellevator (GSN, 8 p.m.): Drumroll, please! Finally, we’re at the first season finale of Hellevator! Quick, everyone find an elevator and deliberately use the stairs instead, because who needs elevators when you have Hellevator?!?
Patti Labelle’s Holiday Pies (Cooking Channel, 8:30 p.m.): “Internet sensation James Wright Chanel joins his idol Patti LaBelle in the kitchen to help make her sweet potato pie. They also spend time sharing stories and recipes, singing, and laughing. Other holiday dishes on the menu include apple-peach cobbler and brisket potpie.” In case you’re not up-to-date on why this is happening:
Who Is Donald Trump? (A&E, 10 p.m.): First Charlie Sheen and now Donald Trump. A&E is definitely cultivating a particular brand.
Nashville: On The Record 3 (ABC, 10 p.m.): Finally, a light in the darkness that is Nashville season four! You know the drill—it’s the Connie Britton/Rayna James-free (so, music-heavy) Nashville experience. “Fans of the hit ABC series Nashville get a rare and intimate look at life on the road when cameras follow cast members Clare Bowen, Chris Carmack, Charles Esten, Sam Palladio, Aubrey Peeples and Lennon and Maisy Stella, as they tour around the country performing the music of Nashville as well as original material they have written, during sold-out concerts and appearances.”
Going Deep With David Rees (Esquire Network, 10 / 10:30 p.m.): David Rees is going to teach us all “How To Take A Nap” and then “How To Open A Door.” Yes, we know—with these credentials, many of you deserve your own show on Esquire. You can pitch your show idea to @ESQTV.
Christmas Through The Decades (History Channel, 10 p.m.): Tonight is the night for “The ‘90s,” you damn millennials. We know that Tickle Me Elmo and Beanie Baby toys are going to be talked about, but what about the soul-crushing holiday gift known as the Furby? Hopefully there’s a chart that shows all of the people who were attacked in their sleep by that hellspawn. (Why did kids want it?!?)
Rich In Faith (Oxygen, 10 p.m.): “Rich and DawnChere join with friends for a road trip to visit DawnChere’s brothers. Along the way, Rich tries to keep Vlad and Jam celibate and DawnChere feasts on her favorite food.” Surely one of you will watch this and report back.
Entertainment Weekly: Best & Worst Of 2015 (Reelz, 10 p.m.): Didn’t VH1 already do this, Reelz?
Rev Runs Around The World (Travel Channel, 10 / 10:30 p.m.): First up, “Rev entrusts a stranger to plan the family’s unexpected three-day layover in Hong Kong.” Okay, Rev is a terrible patriarch. Got it. Then, “Justine wants a home in Thailand but Rev thinks she can’t stand the heat.” Maybe he should just have a stranger follow her around with a heavy-duty handheld fan.
Watch What Happens: Live (Bravo, 11 p.m.): WHOOPI! BILLY EICHNER! WE ASSUME THIS IS HOW THE ENTIRE EPISODE PLAYS OUT!
True Life (MTV, 11:30 p.m.): This week’s True Life is “I’m Living Anime.” Need context, for some reason? Well here you go: “Two anime fans who strive to look like anime characters are featured.”
Annie Hall (HBO Comedy West, 7:35 p.m.): It looks like TV Guide Guy just enrolled in film school: “The film employs fantasy flashbacks, direct-to-camera monologues, subtitles and even a cartoon sequence to tell its tale.”
Beetlejuice (HBO Comedy East, 8 p.m.): Another Wednesday What’s On Tonight, another reason to embed this video:
Becoming Santa (Lifetime, 8 p.m.): “A woman brings her boyfriend home for Christmas to meet her parents, Santa and Mrs. Claus. He must decide if he’s willing to continue their relationship after learning that he’d be next in line for Santa’s job.” What the hell, Lifetime?!?
College Basketball: Tulane at North Carolina (ESPN2, 7 p.m.)
College Basketball: Kennesaw State at Louisville (ESPNU, 7 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Hornets at Magic (FSN, 7 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Grizzlies at Bulls (ESPN, 8 p.m.)
NHL Hockey: Penguins at Bruins (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.)
Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. China (FS1, 8:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Mississippi State at Florida State (ESPN2, 9 p.m.)
Women’s Basketball: Tennessee at Stanford (ESPNU, 9 p.m.)
College Basketball: Arizona State at UNLV (CBS Sports, 10 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Suns at Warriors (ESPN, 10:30 p.m.)
Impact Wrestling (Destination America, 9 p.m.)
The Ultimate Fighter (FS1, 10 p.m.)
Ring Of Honor (Comet TV, midnight)
The Expanse: If you’re a nerd like Zack Handlen, we doubt you missed the review of The Expanse’s second episode. But just in case you did, here you go. (And just a reminder, you’re still a nerd either way.)