Last night, melting sculpture of a ’50s televangelist Ted Cruz—or someone on his team—liked a tweet featuring explicit pornography that seemingly cast extramarital affairs in a deliciously naughty new light. This was funny for a lot of reasons, chief among them that Ted Cruz is a self-righteous hard-right eschatologist who thinks his moral purity grants him dominion over other Americans’ choices. Accordingly, there were a lot of great jokes to be made about the whole (ahem) affair online, and they were made—immediately, throughout the night, and extending into today.
And now sliding in after the bell has rung and everyone has gone home comes everyone’s least favorite uncle, Mike Huckabee, a fellow failed presidential candidate best known at this point in his career for, well, tweeting shit like this:
See, folks, what’s funny about the original mishap isn’t the visage of a universally reviled, sanctimonious chud being forced to eat shit and go through the motions of casting blame on a careless, unnamed staffer. No, as Huckabee reminds us, the humor of the whole situation comes from the pronunciation of the word “porn,” which rhymes with other words, such as “corn.” It’s a rich vein of humor that one can mine for hours, leading to such giggle-inducers as “Mike Huckabee’s son once murdered a BOG in cold blood,” because the image of a person murdering a dog in cold blood, as Huckabee’s son did, is not funny at all.