Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Screenshots: YouTube

It’s happened to all of us: You’re out to eat, enjoying some conversation, the restaurant’s carefully curated ambience, perhaps the muted tones of a couple arguing nearby. Some bearded man whisks by and drops a plate off at the table. The chefs have artfully arrayed the ingredients such that you’re not even sure what each of them are anymore. What mysterious flavors might this new dish hold? And then, before you can dig in, across the table, the phone comes out, because if you don’t post a picture of something you eat to Instagram beforehand, did you really even eat it?

Here is one possible solution to that problem:

Yes, just fucking ruin that plate of food, every time. Some of these people seem to be genuinely furious, as well they should. Others may have known it was coming. Either way, it helps if, after ruining not only your dining companion’s photo but also the food they were about to eat, you say “mush” and then begin cackling devilishly. If we each devote ourselves to mushing the food we see being Instagrammed, together, we can stop the scourge of unicorn food.


Clayton Purdom is a writer and editor based in Columbus, Ohio.

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