Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

What Being Justin Timberlake's Girlfriend Is Like

According to this video full of the impromptu vote-PSA-dancing of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, and nothing else, here is what it's like to be Justin Timberlake's girlfriend:


1. It's like being part of an amazing team called Team Timberlake. You're both always moving toward the same important goal: supporting Justin Timberlake in whatever he does, no matter how annoying. If Justin wants to do a jokey "remix" of "Dick In A Box" about voting–even though that doesn't make any sense unless you cut a hole in the box big enough for both a dick and the electoral process–you'll be there to back him up. Why? Because you're only there to support him, no matter how lame his ideas are. That's a relationship [with Justin Timberlake].

2. Being Justin's girlfriend is like being the number one backup dancer in the music video of Justin Timberlake's life. Sometimes literally, when there are cameras around–and you know how Justin can't resist cameras!

3. It's like having a front row seat to a show called Comedy Genius. The star, musical director, producer, and sponsor of this show? Justin Timberlake. You'll never fake laugh so hard as when Justin does one of his corny "this is a remix" bits! By your 1st anniversary with Justin, you'll have perfected your mirthless laughter, and reassuring lines like, "That'll be so funny at the ESPYs!" will sound almost convincing.

4. Basically, being Justin Timberlake's girlfriend is like transforming yourself into a beautiful, magical mirror–Justin's favorite thing!–that Justin can gaze into and only see the best parts of himself reflected back. It's a difficult job, but someone's got to do it.


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