After living in his Minneapolis fiefdom Paisley Park for years, Prince recently moved into a house designed by Vanna White's ex-husband in a gated community Los Angeles.

According to the New Yorker, here's what it's like to hang out with him there:

1. It's very relaxing–but only if watching image after image of hirstute men playing flutes relaxes you.

Candles scented the air, and New Age music played in the living room, where a TV screen showed images of bearded men playing flutes.

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Apparently, Prince's house is also a spa that specializes in an "awkwardness" treatment.

2. At times, it's like being stuck at the world's worst poetry reading:

He picked up a copy of "21 Nights," a glossy volume of photographs that he had just released. It is his first published book, a collection of highly stylized photographs of him taken during a series of gigs in London last year. "I'm really proud of this," he said. Short original poems and a CD accompany the photographs. (Sample verse: "Who eye really am only time will tell/ 2 the almighty life 4ce that grows stronger with every chorus/ Yes give praise, lest ye b among . . . the guilty ones.")



Or a reading for Prince's Beyeble: Eye Judge U.

3. After a while, it can feel like being trapped inside Prince's ego–which would be a great setting for a perfume commercial (starring Prince, of course):

In the living room, he'd installed purple thrones on either side of a fireplace, and, nearby, along a hallway, he had hung photographs of himself, in a Moroccan villa, in various states of undress. At the end of the hall, a gauzy curtain fluttered in a doorway.

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4. Mostly, though, it's like sitting in a strange purple church, listening to a highly judgmental, bible thumping sermon–complete with actual bible thumping!

[Prince said:] "So here's how it is: you've got the Republicans, and basically they want to live according to this." He pointed to a Bible. "But there's the problem of interpretation, and you've got some churches, some people, basically doing things and saying it comes from here, but it doesn't. And then on the opposite end of the spectrum you've got blue, you've got the Democrats, and they're, like, 'You can do whatever you want.' Gay marriage, whatever. But neither of them is right."

When asked about his perspective on social issues–gay marriage, abortion–Prince tapped his Bible and said, "God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, 'Enough.' "

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Prince claims that the above quotes were taken out of context, and while the second quote does seem a little strange and abrupt (He jumped right into "God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever…" after being asked, "So what's your perspective on gay marriage?" Really?), there's no mistake about the first one. It certainly seems to reveal that Prince is against gay marriage, which is a weird, stupid, and disappointing stance for someone who built his early career off of fueling his own "Is he straight or gay?" speculation to take.

But maybe no one's put the issue in perspective for Prince. If someone sat him down and said, "Prince, what if two of the bearded flute playing men in your weird spa video were in love and wanted to get married? Would you deny them that?" Or, if someone could simply explain it to him in his language, "2 men 2gether 4ever should b ok!" then maybe he'd change his mind.