Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

When Cats Become Weapons

Once upon a time, Project Runway was an entertaining reality competition show. Then Harvey Weinstein swallowed the show whole and it disappeared into his labyrinthine guts, never to be heard from again.  Until yesterday, that is, when one of the most irritiating Project Runway contestants ever (which is saying a lot) threw a bunch of objects at her boyfriend, revealing a creativity in her assault technique that she never displayed in her designs.

From the NY Post:

"Project Runway" finalist Kenley Collins was arrested today after assaulting her fiance with their cat, authorities said today.

After throwing the feline, a laptop computer, and three apples at Zak Penley, Collins, 26, was charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon (of meow destruction).

"It was a miscommunication," Collins told The Post after getting released without bail from Brooklyn Supreme Court yesterday morning.


In case you were wondering, "weapon (of meow destruction)" is only the tip of the treacherously punny iceberg. In fact, thanks to this story, gossip outlets are in danger of a pun shortage. The NY Post, aka pun factory, has already used "let the fur fly" and "pussy whipped," while TMZ went with "Cat-astrophe" and "Purr-jectile object," and People shamefully buried the lead with "big Mac attack."

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To refresh your memory, Kenley was the perma-whining Project Runway Season 5 contestant whose originality was often called into question by the judges. Michael Kors would say something like, "You were obviously inspired by Alexander McQueen's latest show." And Kenley would respond, "I don't even know who that is. I've never seen clothes. What's a fashion show? How dare you? It's not fair. Blah blah blah tugboat." It seems that old habits die hard. In choosing a cat as her weapon of choice, Kenley is yet again ripping someone off: The crazy cat lady from The Simpsons.

Still, until Christian Siriano hurls an iguana named Catchphrase at someone, this is probably the last you'll hear of Project Runway for a while.