Who needs Cats when you can watch Taylor Swift recite various cat breeds to music?

Cats doesn’t open until tomorrow, meaning it’s yet to be seen whether the film’s abundance of abysmal reviews will deter audiences or lure them like felines to a warm saucer of milk. Our own Ignatiy Vishnevetsky panned Tom Hooper’s take on the immortal musical as “misguided in concept and a failure in execution,” noting that Hooper “can’t even get camp right.” Basically, this thing sounds like a slog, and its two-hour runtime isn’t all that enticing.