Hellboy and Sons Of Anarchy’s Ron Perlman isn’t afraid to get combative on Twitter, especially when it comes to politics. The actor’s liberal bent has made him the target of no shortage of Trump-humping dipshits, but Perlman’s mentions have rarely gotten as weird as they have over the last few days.
This particular round began on Saturday, when the actor reveled in the online whinging of Donald Trump and Florida congressman Matt Gaetz after the U.S. Soccer board of directors voted to repeal a policy forcing players to stand for the national anthem. “The US Soccer team called and you guessed it... said they couldn’t give any less of a fuck about what you two dipshits think,” Perlman said, tagging Trump and Gaetz in the tweet.
What followed was an exhausting back-and-forth in which Gaetz criticized Perlman for playing the “White Supremacist leader” of a biker gang on Sons Of Anarchy—not exactly accurate, as SoA fans will tell you—and Perlman responded by calling him a “fuckboi” whose dad, former Florida senator Don Gaetz, helped get him elected, which is a real thing that happened and not a fake thing on TV.
Anyways, Perlman’s feud took on a different, even more mortifying shape after the actor posted a photo of Rep. Jim Jordan, writing, “You’re lucky for this guy, Matt. If it weren’t for him you’d be the ugliest politician walking.”
Enter Ted “Liked A Porn Tweet on 9/11" Cruz, who took a quick break from owning himself to remind the world of how Jordan allegedly turned a blind eye to and, eventually, helped cover up the rampant sexual abuse of students while he was a wrestling coach at Ohio State. Cruz didn’t mean to do this, of course, but what else is one to think of as he giddily tries to get Perlman in a wrestling ring with Jordan?
“You talk good game when you’ve got Hollywood makeup & stuntmen,” the little freak wrote. “But I’ll bet $10k—to the nonpolitical charity of your choice—that you couldn’t last 5 min in the wrestling ring w/ @Jim_Jordan w/o getting pinned. You up for it? Or does your publicist say too risky?”
Perlman picked up on what Cruz somehow didn’t, noting that “mentioning jim jordan and wrestling is... problematic,” and proposed simply beating the snot out of Cruz instead. “I’ll give 50k to Black Lives Matter and you can keep all the tax payer money you were thinking of spending,” he said. The barbs continued flying from there. Jordan, unsurprisingly, stayed out of it.
Cruz gave up from there, tucking his pointy tail between his legs and moving on to lament “woke virtue signaling,” which, as we all know, is currently the greatest threat facing this country.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org