Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Ted Cruz is still desperately trying to make his dumb Simpsons metaphor work

Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Last week, Ted Cruz once again tried to prove that he’s a living, human person by loudly declaring that Democrats are bad because they’re “the party of Lisa Simpsons,” whereas the Republicans are “happily the party of Homer, Bart, Maggie, and Marge.” It was exactly the sort of pop culture reference Republicans love to make, in the sense that it displays an awareness of The Simpsons without really understanding The Simpsons, and Cruz was rightfully dragged for arguing that being like Lisa Simpson—the smartest and most reasonable member of the family—is a bad thing.

TMZ felt the need to catch up with Cruz so he could expand on his dumb metaphor for some reason, and despite his suggestions that he’s just trying to have some fun, he does seem weirdly angry that people don’t like his off-base Simpsons comparison. As a rebuttal to the people who didn’t get what he was saying the first time, Cruz broke down every member of the Simpsons family for TMZ to explain why they’re a good example of Republican values, but his reasoning makes the whole thing even stupider than before.


Regarding Homer, Cruz says he’s a good model for Republicans because he’s an “everyman” who “works hard” to provide for his family. For someone who supposed to be such a big Simpsons fan, Cruz should know that Homer absolutely does not work hard to earn the things he has. Doesn’t Cruz remember what “pulled a Homer” means? He should, since his whole political career is based on succeeding despite idiocy.

Then there’s Bart, whose “free” lifestyle is a good example of the way Libertarians want to live without the stuffy, fun-hating rules of Democrats. Of course, there was an episode where everyone tried to live like Bart, and the whole town collapsed into anarchy. For Marge, Cruz says she’s good because she “reins in Lisa’s over-enthusiasm,” which is a terrible lesson to teach anyone, whether they’re a stuffy, fun-hating Democrat or not.

Finally, Cruz’s brain completely breaks when he tries to justify his argument that Maggie is a Republican, talking about how cool it was when she helped a bunch of other babies escape from the tyrannical Ayn Rand School For Tots in “A Streetcar Named Marge.” Maggie’s storyline is literally about her rejecting the daycare’s awful objectivist philosophy and standing up for the good of her fellow babies, and yet Cruz somehow thinks this is an example of good Republican values.


We’re not trying to go all “we appreciate The Simpsons on a deeper level than Ted Cruz,” but we definitely appreciate The Simpsons on a deeper level than he does.

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