You really don't want Ultimate Slip 'N Slide and "explosive diarrhea" in the same headline like this

The NBC reality competition show has shut down production after a reported outbreak of waterborne giardia

You really don't want Ultimate Slip 'N Slide and "explosive diarrhea" in the same headline like this
It’s mud! Don’t worry, it’s mud. Photo: Phil Walter

We don’t normally do this, but we’d like to begin this particular Newswire by setting a few preliminary points, just for the sake of clarity. Let’s start by acknowledging that diarrhea, while both a funny word, and, platonically, a funny concept, is not actually fun to experience—something enhanced in both directions once the word “explosive” gets involved. Let’s also remind ourselves of how the last year has put a magnifying glass over potentially unsafe working conditions on entertainment industry sets, and that the creation of workable COVID-19 vaccines has not in any way dampened the fact that employers have a duty to the people to employ to ensure that they can do their jobs safely, without any risk of infection or danger.

We got all that down? It feels important that we get all that down before writing this next sentence.

So, hey: It turns out that NBC’s Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide has had to shut down production on account of all the explosive diarrhea.

This is per a report from The Wrap, which alleges that as many as 40 crewmembers on the upcoming reality competition show have developed symptoms of the intestinal disease giardia, and by symptoms, we mean “a new and profoundly unpleasant understanding of how all those waterslides probably feel.” Given that the series—hosted by comics Ron Funches and Bobby Moynihan—is all about contestants navigating a “65-foot-tall slippery yellow slide,” and thus necessitates having large quantities of open water on hand, it’s not terribly difficult to do the math on how this may have happened. (Per Vulture, Universal later confirmed that waterborne giardia parasites had been found on the set.)

Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide was reportedly most of the way through its 8-week shooting schedule when the outbreak hit. It remains to be seen whether the show will still hit its projected August 8 premiere date, which would have seen it follow the closing of the Tokyo Olympics with what we can only assume would have been a lot of shots of people splashing around in the water, splashing other people with the water, getting the water in their mouths, and just generally being blissfully ignorant of the truly bad bathroom times to come.

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