Academy storms the stage, raises its hand, and promises “appropriate action” over Will Smith incident
In a letter sent to members, the Academy vowed not to take this sitting down from a throne at the front of the stage

Did you hear about the Oscars? It was wild! CODA won Best Picture! Also, Dune. Wow, Dune. That movie won a lot of awards. And the outfits? What was Julia Fox wearing? Oh, also, after Chris Rock made a musty, old G.I. Jane joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith, her husband Willennium C. Smith “smacked the shit” out of Chris Rock.
It was, as they say, pretty remarkable television, even if it did damn the discourse for the next few weeks. But let’s take a second to honor those who, like Smith, aren’t taking this incident sitting down. Two days after the Oscars became a backdoor pilot for the reboot of NBC’s The Slap, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science sent a sternly worded letter to its members, vowing action!
Per Variety, the letter acknowledges the “many individuals in our community who did incredible work this past year” but are “upset and outraged” that Chris Rock would make a joke featuring the words “G.I. Jane” in the year of our lord 2022 the entertainer who the Academy named Best Actor of the year would “smack the shit” out of a presenter.
Of course, Academy President David Rubin promises that the “Academy’s Board of Governors will now make a determination on appropriate action for Mr. Smith.” There’s probably something in the bylaws about winners smacking “the shit” out of Chris Rock. They just haven’t found it yet.
Please feel free to peruse the letter at your earliest convenience.
Dear Members,