Accuracy be damned, Joe Rogan is officially 5'3" now and no one can change our minds

If you're gonna creatively propose to someone, why not also troll Joe Rogan in the process?

By Andrew Paul  |  June 15, 2021 | 7:00pm
Aux Features Rogan
Accuracy be damned, Joe Rogan is officially 5'3" now and no one can change our minds
See? 5'7". Screenshot: Google

America’s de facto Bro Whisperer, Joe Rogan, is arguably a lot of things: unnervingly successful podcast host, poster child for ridiculously privileged white dudes, recklessly contrarian… but one thing he most certainly is not is 5'3". By most official accounts, the man is 5'7".

Okay. Now, that said, we’re gonna take some inspiration from Mr. Rogan himself and posit the following question to everyone: “What if he isn’t?” After all, that’s what the skywriter told us just the other day after tacking the inaccuracy onto someone’s wedding proposal, and their views are just as important to consider as everyone else’s. According to multiple Los Angeles residents alongside a report from TMZ (a font of accuracy if there ever was one), someone proposed to a one “Mollie Pratt” via sky message over the weekend, with postscripts including “I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING,” as well as “UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.”

Then came the P.P.S.: “ONE MORE THING … JOE ROGAN IS LITEALLY [sic] 5 FOOT 3.”

If you’ll please recall—until this weekend, it was a pretty well-established fact that Joe Rogan is approximately four inches taller than the sky-crawl’s claims. But, as TMZ estimates, it probably cost the anonymous proposer somewhere around $10,000 to get the entire message up there amidst the clouds… so they had to be pretty sure of some as-of-yet unseen, contradictory evidence regarding Rogan’s stature (that, or they really wanted to impress their hopeful fiancé-to-be with some sort of inside joke or whatever).

In any case, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else tells us going forward, including Rogan himself. The man is clearly 5'3", because that’s what the skywriting told us. Just like Ben Shapiro is clearly 5'5" 5'1".

[via UPROXX]

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