Dearest Tampa, I’m sorry you didn’t want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now. How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?
After the show, I want you to know that I will go straight to a rehab facility that will teach me how to make all people happy. Both the rich, entitled, white people who are gonna vote for him and the very poor people who’ve been tricked into it.
And Tampa, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that he was an orange, sexual-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster. I shouldn’t have said that. I will never again say that he is an orange, sexual-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster.
It’s a very earnest apology, nearly as heartfelt and penitent as the one issued by Donald Trump after that Access Hollywood video leaked.
In a statement to People, the Inside Amy Schumer star expanded upon her very real and not at all sarcastic apology to those 200 people who are presumably going to vote for an avowed racist. “I loved the crowd and my show in Tampa last night! I want to thank the 8,400 people who stayed. We had a great time!” she said, more sincerely this time. “We have always depended on comedians to make us laugh and tell the truth. I am proud to continue that tradition.”
[via People]
