By now, we all know that Boston Dynamics’ line-up of robotic freaks will never be as cool as our battered utopian visions once allowed us to hope they would be. Instead of joining humanity as fun pals we could discuss the meaning of life with or take on jogs across gleaming holo-streets, Boston Dynamics creations have ended up having more mundane, shittier uses, like preparing to replace human workers and helping police more effectively terrorize neighborhoods.
Now, following up on a New Year’s video of its monstrosities shuffling along to “Do You Love Me” in an affront to both good taste and the natural order, Boston Dynamics has let its dog-like Spot model out of its gore-slick techno-kennel to dance to BTS’ Hyundai-shilling “IONIQ: I’m On It.”
The clip was made to mark Boston Dynamics’ acquisition by Hyundai, which presumably came about through an agreement that included the creation of this dystopian video. “Spot’s On It” shows seven of the beasts in a featureless room “dancing” to music by striking bug-like poses in a machine’s cold understanding of rhythm. At one point, the choreography requires the Spots to open their metal mouths wide, serpentine heads bobbing on inhuman necks in a motion unnervingly similar to the moments just before the snake’s fangs sink into human flesh.
Considering that the last we heard of Spot, it was because people were appalled by the idea that the New York City Police Department would use the robots in its work, a squad of the death machines dancing to some K-Pop at least looks a bit less threatening. We can only wonder what sort of fantastic musical number Boston Dynamics is preparing to run after word leaks out that its Atlas model is being used to chase down petty criminals and crush them to pulp between its piston arms.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org