Reader, we don’t know if you are a parent or if you will be one someday. But if you happen to fall into either of those categories, rest assured, one day you will wind up in the emergency room with a child with a Lego up their nose. This incident is so commonplace that if you just point to your child and say “Lego in nose,” hospital staff will shrug and steer you toward a special room full of long, pointy tweezers designed to take Legos out of small noses. Please remember this prophetic warning when this happens to you. It is an inevitability.
Because if you don’t get that Lego extracted, your child may wind up like this New Zealand child we read about in The Guardian today. Special thanks to Jemaine “Nose For News” Clement for alerting us to this breaking story:
Two years ago, then-5-year-old Sameer Anwar of Dunedin complained to his parents that he couldn’t find a certain Lego piece. As Sameer had previously pushed an imitation pearl up his nostril, his concerned parents took their son to the doctor, who assured the parents that since the boy was not in distress. The Lego piece, if it was in fact inside the boy’s body, was bound to travel through his system on its own time. (Let us not forget the groundbreaking scientific study a few years ago when six people swallowed Lego mini-figure heads, deducing that that travel time was about two days. Science!)
Sameer’s Lego piece never surfaced though, until this week when a strong inhale of a plate of cupcakes apparently jarred the Lego piece loose. As The Guardian describes in poetic terms: “Immediately, his nose began to hurt. Thinking he’d sniffed up some cake crumbs, his mother helped him blow his nose, hoping to thoroughly clear his nostrils. But instead of pink cake crumbs, out dropped a tiny piece of black Lego, covered in fungus.” It appears to be the arm of a Lego mini-figure.
Well done, Sameer! Now that the boy is 7 years old, we assume that his days of shoving things in his nostrils are behind him. For the rest of you parents with small children… we’ll see you in the ER.