Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Come for the virtual monkey fights, stay for the hologram sex shows at Perry Farrell's batshit new Vegas attraction

Illustration for article titled Come for the virtual monkey fights, stay for the hologram sex shows at Perry Farrells batshit new Vegas attraction
Photo: Scott Dudelson (Getty Images)

Unwilling to rest on the now virtually-mainstream laurels of his Lollapalooza success, Perry Farrell is taking his personal brand of weirdness to its natural home, that glittering, scream-shouted “Oh yeah-ha” of a place we know as Las Vegas. Pitchfork reports today on some of the recently revealed plans for the Jane’s Addiction frontman’s new Vegas-based family attraction/multimedia bacchanal, Kind Heaven, which will soon take up residence as part of Caesar Entertainment’s LINQ Promenade. And, given that said reporting includes phrases like “virtual monkey fights,” and Farrell speculating that he might include himself in the attraction as some kind of ever-present, benevolent sex hologram, we figured we’d try to spread the word.

Apparently inspired by a dream Farrell once had about the fun, sexy kind of poverty and crime, Kind Heaven sounds like the purest possible distillation of the modern Vegas experience, i.e., an attempt to package up a slightly tone-deaf take on exoticism and danger in a cheerful, consumerism-friendly package. Designed by Farrell (along with veterans from Walden Media and the Star Wars films), the five-story attraction promises, “an active and dynamic world extending across multiple levels and more than 100,000 square feet, offering the best of Southeast Asian culture, music, food, danger, fashion, exoticism, exploration, legendary mysteries, and spiritual enlightenment.”


But also, yes, digital monkey fights. (Which presumably won’t get busted out until after dark, since Farrell is promising that the attraction will be “family-friendly by day and dangerously-adult at night, offering a 360-degree assault on the senses.”) We know what you’re wondering, though: Will patrons at Kind Heaven be able to bet on the outcome of the virtual monkey fights? To which we respond, “Don’t be stupid; this is Las Vegas. Of course you can bet on which fake monkey will successfully wrestle its buddy to the ground.”

As much as $100 million has been invested in Farrell’s fever dream, with ideas still apparently percolating upward out of his mental tar. Like, say, that holographic porn avatar, which he more-or-less invented mid-interview with Forbes:

Farrell: But when I talked to you about the holograms I didn’t mean performance, I meant acting, like scenes. I don’t know if I’ll get to do this but it would be killer to have a holographic porn of myself. I haven’t pitched that one to them yet.

Forbes: What would the holographic porno you be doing?

Farrell: Having delightful sex, revving up the audience, they can be at the bar looking up at a second-story window into my apartment and they would see, “Whoa, what’s going on over there?”

The answer, presumably, being “A holographic Perry Farrell fucking somebody over the sounds of digital monkeys killing each other,” or, in modern shorthand, “a 360-degree sense-assaulting portrait of Hell.”

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