The movie arrived at a time of renewal for the MCU. In addition to Deadpool ushering in Disney’s “bad boys who say ‘fuck’” era, the studio announced the return of Avengers: Endgame directors Joe and Anthony Russo at Comic-Con last night. The Gray Man directors, who will helm two new Avengers adventures that in no way feature a character named Kang, were treated to a crowd chanting “Russo. Russo. Russo.” presumably because Hall H loves Cherry so much. But Feige wasn’t done there. Marvel also brought Robert Downey Jr. back into the fold, not as Iron Man but as Dr. Victor von Doom, the famous villain, for the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. As in her ski trial, Gwyneth Paltrow had the only reasonable response to the news: “I don’t get it, are you a baddie now?”
Will anyone get it? That’s for the future to decide. Today, Marvel is out of its “It’s So Over” period and rebounds to a “We’re So Back” high where sequels and reboots run the box office. Behind Deadpool ([sigh] we’ll leave the pegging jokes to the Merc with the Mouth), Twisters, Despicable Me 4, and Inside Out 2 clung to their slice of the pie. The lone original idea, Longlegs, a reimagining of the David Fincher Cinematic Universe through the prism of T. Rex’s Electric Warrior, rounded out the top five, bringing the film’s three-week total to $58 million. Proving it has legs, Longlegs is now Neon’s biggest theatrical release ever.
In celebration of the movie making a lot of money, Reynolds and Jackman recreated that Wolverine meme where Logan looks at a picture. Combined with the Wolverine blowjob-ready popcorn vessel, which only has a light air of desperation as it chases Dune’s iconic fuck bucket, fans have been left powerless against the epic marketing prowess of movie star Ryan Reynolds. Frankly, considering he turned a Jim Carrey impression into the world’s most popular pansexual superhero, we’re not sure anyone is immune to his charms. Well, except maybe Gwyneth Paltrow.
