December 3, 2008
My
girlfriend and I have been on-and-off for almost two years. I took her back
after she cheated on me. The only thing now is that she wants to have a
threesome. I am really not down with sharing her, but I am willing to do it
because otherwise some other girl will do it for her. I told her that I want to
be stoned when it happens, because I don't think I can handle it sober. She got
mad because she doesn't like drugs. Then what am I supposed to do?
Lesbian
With One Real Dilemma
You're
supposed to wake the fuck up already.
You
can be in a monogamous relationship with someone, LWORD, or you can be in a
relationship with this woman—but you can't be in a monogamous
relationship with this woman. She's already proven herself to be inept at this
monogamy stuff; she cheated on you, you took her back, and now she's pressing
you to bring in the occasional third. You may not be down with sharing her,
LWORD, but she seems pretty intent on being shared.
Here's
the question you should be asking yourself: Do you want this woman in your life
badly enough to overcome your aversion to sharing? Agreeing to a
three-way—so long as you're baked—doesn't count. A three-way
involving a woman; her reluctant, resentful, self-medicating girlfriend; and
some innocent bystander is unlikely to 1) be very much fun for anyone involved
(particularly your unlucky third) or 2) put an end to your girlfriend's desire
for share time.
Your
girlfriend is seeking to fold her desire to sleep with other women into the
structure of your relationship: three-ways now, perhaps some degree of openness
later. She gets points for being honest this time, but she loses points for
being manipulative and controlling. (Fresh pussy for her, no pot for you?
Please.) And if this three-way is a disaster and you refuse to have
others—which may be the outcome you're subconsciously hoping for—I
predict that your girlfriend will just go back to cheating on you.
So
returning to my original point: If you want a girlfriend you don't have to
share, find another girlfriend. If you want this girlfriend, learn to share.
And
invest in a vaporizer.
I
recently read the novel A
Melon For Ecstasy for an English class, and an interesting debate came up.
The book is about a guy who is sexually attracted to trees and goes around
drilling holes into trees so that he can "seal the deal." Though he feminizes
the trees, he cares nothing about actual human females.