Confirming several days' worth of rumors and jokes about Wolf Blitzer suddenly being replaced by Jay Leno, CNN has announced that Jeff Zucker—the man whose questionable tastes, stubbornness about those questionable tastes, and bafflingly shortsighted decision-making dug NBC into the pitiable quagmire that's made its every minor ratings victory in his absence cause for celebration, like a newly dictator-free, yet still-starving nation grateful that the executions have stopped, at least—will be in charge of running CNN now. Zucker's new job begins in January. (Related: Upon hearing his "there are no second acts in American lives" maxim had just been proven wrong once more by corporate meritocracy, F. Scott Fitzgerald drank himself to death all over again.)