Since news broke this week that a financial impasse between Disney and Sony Pictures Entertainment will mean the end of Spider-Man’s involvement in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-fans have been making a kerfuffle online. Given the success the Tom Holland incarnation of Spider-Man has had under the stewardship of Marvel Studio’s Kevin Feige, along with Spidey’s role as a key emotional cog in the MCU, many have called for Sony to “do the right thing” and hand over Spider-Man’s rights to Disney. Sony, however, has had its own success with two recent non-MCU Spider-Man films in the last year—not to mention a wildly profitable PS4-exclusive video game—so, no, that’s not going to happen. There’s also an argument to make that, blue Jamie Foxx aside, Sony’s track record with Spidey ain’t so bad.
Misguided or not, though, #savespiderman has had a strong presence on social media, and where there is a genuine wave of public support, so too must there be brands ready to ride that wave directly into a jetty.
“The end came too soon? The feeling is mutual,” reads the tweet from a prophylactic company’s Twitter account. This text is positioned beneath a crying Spider-Man mask, implying that Spider-Man, and subsequently his alter-ego Peter Parker, suffers from premature ejaculation. Presumably, Durex India would recommend that your friendly neighborhood web-slinger invest in a package of Durex Prolong Natural Latex Condoms, featuring “a male genital desensitizer to allow more control for him and more time for her.”
There are many very good reasons why this is fucked up, but really all of them begin and end with the fact that the particular Spider-Man ostensibly in need of saving is intended to be 15 years old. Understandably, folks on Twitter found the tweet to be in questionable taste.
The lesson here, per usual, is that is always okay not to tweet. This advice holds true whether you are maintaining a regional presence for a condom brand, or just some average schmoe who has found themselves spending a significant section of their day yelling at one or more multi-national corporations about Spider-Man. Regardless, this is a weird thing for anyone to tweet, but yes, of course here we are now talking about Durex condoms. Fair enough. At least they managed not to involve 9/11.