AVQ&A: How are you calming your jangled nerves on Election Day?

I was the kid who finished all his assignments early in the computer lab and would then have plenty of classtime left over to screw around with all the preinstalled programs on the school desktops. Depending on whether the IT administrator was savvy enough to block certain free Flash websites, that meant playing a lot of FreeCell, Minesweeper, and Solitaire until the bell rang. I thought I was free of those cursed time-sucks, but the news cycle and a new achievement-filled browser version of Solitaire where you play alongside other people—hence the name “(not) solitaire“—has me stacking cards again like a chainsmoker falling back into the habit. Sure, there’s a bit of the achievement junkie lingering around from my Xbox days, but mostly this is just a repetitive excuse to while away some nervous energy instead of losing myself in the feed. [Jacob Oller]

Playing UNO: Show ’Em No Mercy with friends

Look, I live in the Washington, D.C. metro area and anyone who has lived anywhere near this place will tell you that—much as you will almost certainly want to—there’s no escaping election night. Every restaurant, bar, grocery store, and Uber ride will be bursting with it: Early returns, wild speculation, a story overheard from some guy whose friend works at the DNC, a completely unsourced report that some race has been called already. You can’t hope to avoid it, only to survive it. So, to that end, my best friends and I are going to try and channel our inner anxiety productively by yelling at each other while some form of news coverage is on in the background. If you haven’t played with the UNO Show ‘Em No Marcy deck before, trust when I say it isn’t for the faint of heart. There are Wild Draw 10s, Skip Everyones, and special cards (0s and 7s) that force you to swap entire hands with other players. It’s brutal, but it’s cathartic as anything. Just maybe don’t play it with people you don’t know very well. You’re going to look unhinged. [Lacy Baugher Milas]

Reading newspaper comic-strip collections

I’ve found this to be a handy strategy for preventing regular afternoon breaks from turning into doomscrolling jags: I grab a Far Side paperback off the shelf and flip through that instead. It’s an analog way of providing the little mental break and dopamine hit I crave, and quick enough that it won’t derail any progress I’m making on my workday tasks. I don’t have any illusions about one of these books—or their hardcover counterparts in the Complete Peanuts series, or the cheapo Heathcliff collection I pulled out of a Little Free Library a few months back—holding my attention for the entire evening tonight, but they do feel like the proper release valve for when I’m tempted to flick my phone open and check the returns. Gary Larson and Charles Schulz feel like particularly useful companions for this white-knuckle ride, their work a reminder that there have always been aspects of life that are absurd and cruel, and no matter the outcome of these midterms, there will still be aspects of life that are absurd and cruel. But at least sometimes there’s music and animals and baseball, plus a military officer shouting “Hey! What’s that clown think he’s doing” while some imitation Bozo reaches for one of three buttons labeled “LAUNCH.” [Erik Adams]

Putting my faith in A Few Good Men

Photo: Emilio Madrid

I’m not sure how distracting or calming this will end up being, but my schedule just happened to shake out in a way that will put me in the audience of Broadway’s A Few Good Men on election night. I’m going to take this as a good sign—what better place to lib out, as the chronically online say, than at some sort of Aaron Sorkin show? It seems appropriate for me as someone who has often learned of major political news during intermission or after turning my phone back on after a movie. I was between acts at a screening of Sweet Charity when I found out that Trump had been indicted, and at least one woman in my audience fled from Film Forum to the courthouse in lower Manhattan; Henry Kissinger died while I was at Spamalot. (Do with that information what you will.) I’m manifesting turning my phone back on at 9:45 tomorrow night to find out that my home state has finally voted Susan Collins out of office. [Drew Gillis] 

Constantly watching the news like a masochist 

Unfortunately, like any good glutton for punishment, I will be glued to the news—hi, Steve Kornacki. I wasn’t ever someone who needed to tune in for constant updates, but covering the 2020 elections at a previous job turned me into someone who needs to be aware of what’s going on at all times, or else my mind will jump to the worst possible conclusion. So once I vote in the morning, CNN or NBC will likely be on as I go about my usual workday, and we’ll all find out together how much that will stress me—and everyone else—out. At least I get to end this Election Day by checking out A Few Good Men on Broadway as Drew’s +1. [Saloni Gajjar] 

Playing Fallout 4

Not to steal Matt’s coping strategy, but I recently looked at the counter for my playtime on Bethesda’s unfairly maligned post-apocalyptic sequel and saw that I’ve officially topped 1,500 hours. Yeah. There is something—even on days when the literal fate of American democracy isn’t hanging by a time-sensitive thread—oddly restorative settling in to rebuild even a tiny corner of a ruined world. I’m talking here about Fallout 4’s gloriously eccentric and adaptable building mechanic, where my beleaguered lone wanderer can take time out from the game-mandated (and, okay, sort of lackluster) main mission and just cobble together a makeshift home base from the rubble of humanity’s reckless hubris and idiocy. Sure, basic shelter from the rad storms and marauding super mutants is fine and all (setting up automated laser turrets and traps helps a guy sleep at night), but what’s really satisfying is to imagine how your unfettered decorating sense would truly transform if you had to scavenge through a dead world for scraps. Sadly, I am fully aware that should the midterms’ aftermath prove apocalyptically dire, the real me will find all this virtual survivalism useless (I am not handy), but it’s a fun, meditative way to stay off the phone. [Dennis Perkins]

Going out with friends

Nothing has gotten me to forget the phone in my pocket like going out with friends. It’s rude to be at the table doomscrolling–and you never want to be that one constantly checking your phone like you’re on call at The Pitt. At least we’re all keeping each other accountable from disappearing into staring into the abyss of the needle of anxiety (or whatever new graphic is developed to stress viewers out). I have family and friends in some hotly contested races coast to coast, so I will think good thoughts, try to enjoy a good meal with good company, and try not to stay up too late watching the numbers roll in. Hey, maybe I’ll even squeeze in a movie to keep the phone at bay longer. I saw there’s a new Gene Tierney collection on the Criterion Channel. These are the toughest nights to be terminally online, so I will be pulling out all the tricks to break the bad habit. [Monica Castillo]