Today is a day that will go down in history, as we (partially) agreed with something Sean Hannity said on his radio show. Thankfully, his comments were reprinted in The Hollywood Reporter, so we didn’t have to actually tune in. But the gist of it is that on his show earlier today, Hannity asked his supporters to stop smashing Keurig coffee machines—but not because buying something (even to break it) has the exact opposite of a boycott. No, Hannity wants his supporters to stop displaying their tacit support for statutory rape as part of some idiotic revenge scheme because Hannity is a big fan of Keurig coffee makers. He owns five of them, in fact!
Hannity even offered to replace all the Keurigs smashed by his supporters, rendering the boycott doubly useless. He offered to buy “at least” 500, according to Business Insider, adding, “I’m going to buy nice ones, I’m not going to buy crappy ones.” What inspired Hannity’s statement? Sympathy for a rich guy, of course. Namely, Hannity feels sorry for Keurig CEO Bob Gamgort, who issued an apology to his employees today that said, “I apologize for any negativity that you have experienced as a result of this situation and assure you that we will learn and improve going forward.” Even though the apology was not addressed to him in any way, Hannity accepted it on air anyway, saying Keurig was a “victim” of left-wing media watchdog site Media Matters, which encouraged companies to withdraw support from Hannity’s Fox News show.
And if evoking sympathy for CEOs can’t get Hannity’s followers back on the pods, Hannity can always tell them how terrible Keurig K-cups are for the environment. That’ll show the liberals (and everyone else on Earth)!