Presumably after awakening in the woods in the middle of the night, head filled with strange images of red curtains and talking trees, an unassuming man named Kurt Quinn has learned to speak any phrase backwards.
A video of his bizarre talent shows Quinn asking a friend to come up with sentences that he, on the spot, will immediately reverse. She throws him a few decently complicated challenges—phrases like “I am the fastest talker in the West,” “I love to eat applesauce,” and “I’m a troublemaker.” He repeats them after only a second of consideration. Then, to prove he’s not just saying gibberish, the video plays backward and we enter a parallel dimension where the pair’s natural body movements turn jerky like broken robots and, by god, the sentences emerge, slurred but definitely intelligible.
It’s a very impressive talent and baffling to watch in action. The real concern, though, isn’t how Quinn can pull off such a strange feat, but what his presence in our world means on a cosmic scale. Is something horrible about to happen now that he’s arrived? Or, worse, has something horrible already happened and his appearance in 2017 only proves that the worst moments of human history repeat on and on into infinity?
Whatever it is, we’ll only feel better when the inevitable doppelQuinn emerges, smiling pleasantly at everyone around him and bumbling his way toward restoring some small kind of natural order.