Further Adventures In Press Releases

From my inbox:

(Burbank, CA) August 18, 2006 ? The CW Network kicks off a nationwide casting call for its upcoming reality series "The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll" (working title) in New York City on Friday, August 25, 12:00-6:00 p.m. at the Park Central New York Hotel ***Line-up will start at the side entrance only (870 Seventh Avenue at 56th Street).

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O-Town. Da Band. Supernova. Whatever that awful girl group from Making The Band 3 is called. Truly, the mark of a great musical act is the reality show casting call for new band members. It was only a matter of time before the Pussycat Dolls realized the heights that a random assortment of fame-hungry wannabe burlesque back-up singers could take their music to. Thank God they told us where the sure-to-be long line will start.

Producers are looking for diverse young women (ages 18 and over) from all walks of life to showcase female empowerment, self-discovery, personal transformation and their inner Pussycat Doll. For additional information, including audition requirements, applications and how to submit audition videos, please visit www.cwtv.com.

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It might seem hard to showcase all these things at once, but really all you need to do is adopt a ridiculous hairstyle. Just look at this picture of the existing dolls:

From the hair so poofy not even a drag queen would attempt it, to the oddly placed braids of the ones on the left, to the redhead who has achieved the ideal balance of conehead and wilted extensions, it's obvious that your "inner pussycat doll" is lying on top of your head. Nothing says "female empowerment, self-discovery, and personal transformation" like a bleached blonde faux-hawk that looks like an albino rooster's butt.

Also, the casting director can see that from a mile away.

Under the guidance of The Pussycat Dolls creator and founder Robin Antin, selected young hopefuls will live together and have their singing ability, dance moves and sheer self-confidence put to the test in an eight-episode reality series, as they vie for the opportunity to join the chart-topping singing sensation The Pussycat Dolls, as the group expands from six members to seven.

Seven members might seem like a lot for a group where only one girl does the actual singing. But that 7th harmony makes the occasional "cha" in "Don't Cha" really resonate.

Also they're hoping to get someone with ,like, a totally retro, but at the same time neo-burlesque-y, facial tattoo.