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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Good news, creeps! You can now see what Tom Hanks' plasma looks like

Illustration for article titled Good news, creeps! You can now see what Tom Hanks' plasma looks like
Photo: Jeff Kravitz (Getty Images)

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, who tested positive for coronavirus back in March, may now have magic blood. We last reported on this about a week ago, when it first came to our attention that, as people who have recovered from COVID-19, Hanks and Wilson may possess antibodies that could help researchers create a vaccine. Whether or not the precious fluids that have propelled Hanks into an extremely successful acting career will turn out to save us all from the pandemic is difficult to say, but what we do know is that pictures of Hanks donating his plasma represent a real field day for any creeps excited for a closer look at what lies beneath his skin.


Yesterday, Hanks tweeted out photos of his blood being drawn and a bag of his nasty-looking plasma, saying that the process, aside from “the paperwork” is “as easy as taking a nap.” There’s really not much else to add here if you’re not a fucking weirdo. Hanks (or “Hanx” as he signs the post) is just showing what’s he up to. There’s really nothing nefarious about it.

That said, if you take a look at the replies to Hanks’ tweet that aren’t just people expressing appreciation for him donating plasma, there’s a whole a subset of conspiracy-obsessed freaks on display. These people, as @classiclib3ral has wonderfully captured, are more than happy for an opportunity to point out that Hanks is apparently a member of the secret pedophile deep state that orchestrates our fate—and that his blood is, we guess, an important part of an evil agenda.

The usual QAnon talking points about evil pizza parlors, underground Satanism, and whatever-the-fuck else are well represented here in litanies of hashtags that probably don’t make much sense to any but the most internet-poisoned among us. Of course none of this should be taken seriously until the most dedicated of the truth seekers demonstrate their academic rigor by zooming in on Hanks’ plasma far enough to determine whether his cells are shaped like a regular human’s or consist of millions of tiny pentagrams and Eyes Of Providence.

[via Mashable]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.