I like Steve Carell. He's really funny on The Office, and he was lovably awkward and charming as a 40-year-old virgin in the film The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I also like it when people give police officers a little back-sass. Puts the boys in blue in their place, I say. I'm even an appreciator of tabs. If you're in a bar, and don't have cash, it's really convenient to give the bartender your Visa card let him "put it on my tab," if you will, until you're really to leave. And yet, I've come to despise the ubiquitous advertising campaign for the DVD release of Carell's 2007 film Dan In Real Life because, somehow, Carell, back-sass, and tabs actually create a perfect storm of irritation when combined.

Perhaps you remember the commercials for Dan In Real Life when it was in theaters. No matter how long or short the commercial was, it always included the scene where Carrell gets stopped for speeding and tells the cop, "Put it on my tab." Then he repeats "Put it on my tab" in a somewhat wacky voice, causing him to giggle in a most endearing fashion.

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I have not seen Dan In Real Life, so I might be missing something here. Is "Put it on my tab" a catchphrase that Carrell utters throughout the film? Is there a warehouse somewhere filled with "Put it on my tab" T-shirts that we'd all be wearing right now had Dan In Real Life done better at the box office? Am I, in fact, a cheerless scold who thinks "Put it on my tab" is at best a mildly amusing quip, but not so funny that it's going to make me rush to my nearest movie theater or Blockbuster to catch the Dan In Real Life wave? If any or all those things are true, it doesn't matter, because I will never, ever, fucking see this movie, nor will I ever talk back to cops or use tabs ever again.

Here's the Dan In Real Life trailer. If you want to laff, go to the last 10 seconds. And you can put that on my tab!

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