Here’s what’s happening in the world of television for Monday, January 1. All times are Eastern.
The Bachelor (ABC, 8 p.m.): We are hungover. We are tired. We do not want to have to move, let alone think. Sometime around 2 a.m. we sent our friend a text asking if they wanted to rent a cabin in Michigan with us next month, but instead it unintentionally read, “went to rent mint condition cabin, nerd mouth.” So we need brainless entertainment—and fear not, The Bachelor is here to provide.
World Darts Championship 2017 (BBC America, 2 p.m.): This seems like about the right level of attention span we’re capable of giving at this point in the afternoon.